Our peeved yet perspicacious political insider writes exclusively:

The rigours of CBD’s arduous employment in the Public Service combined with the emotional trauma of Election 19 necessitated a little sojourn.

Given Tasmania’s Dark MoFo is the woke thing to do, CBD decided to explore. For one not overly socially adept this visit was beyond expectation in enhancing CBD’s reputation amongst colleagues.

Red lights everywhere. Supposedly symbolising something.

The trip didn’t only help CBD deal with fatigue and emotions. It had the side benefit of providing real hope for a GULAG comeback.

Tucked right down south halfway to Antarctica is a state government with a mendicant mentality that even caused CBD to cringe.

It seems the local paper The Mercury (disparagingly referred to by those grime riddled tradies I overhead as The Muckery) was exposing the plight of the homeless. A most worthy cause.

Not missing a beat the state Liberal government on spotting another opportunity put hand on heart ( a quick break from having it out begging) and demanded the feds forgive their housing debt; a mere $150 million. This led to a spat between the feds and state Liberals.

A spectacular sight to behold. So heart-warming in the chill of Tasmania’s Antarctic air to see the enemy tear themselves apart. Not sure if it’s on the same scale as GULAG over tax cuts or Setka but it was reassuring to see the hard right engaging in internal warfare.

The feds, of course, trotted out the old hackneyed lines of ‘responsibility’, ‘debts need to be repaid’, and the taxpayer will be paying for it anyway to either Hobart or Canberra. So trite. They even tried the line that if Tasmania was forgiven its debt it would send the dogs barking on the mainland for the feds to forgive all the other housing debts. Really?! It’s only $2.2 billion all up. A few franked dividends could easily pay for that.

What really impressed was the fact that the mendicant, handout mentality, and to hell (oops not allowed to say that anymore am I, Izzy?) with the debt and its consequences was being championed by a state Liberal government.

Meanwhile, GULAG representatives in Tasmania were silent eerily silent on the issue of debt repayment. Either because of the adage don’t disturb the enemy while they’re fighting themselves or because they incurred the debt in the first place.

But to see the state Liberals not even blaming the local division of GULAG for incurring the debt and instead attacking the federal Liberals for not fixing a mess not of the feds making was unbelievably heart-warming and a real bonus of the trip.

Never did find out what the symbolism of everything being in red but figure it might have something to do with the colour of the ink they use down there to do their books.

Never found out either what Dark MoFo stood for. Possibly Dark Management of Finances Ongoing. (And, yes. It was state Government (or as the hard right would say taxpayer) sponsored.

The CBD contributed exclusively to Flat White throughout the 2019election campaign – and we have not heard the last of him/her/zi yet.

Illustration: Dark MoFo.

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