Etiquette
Dear Mary: Should I return my pod coffee maker on moral grounds?
Q. I adore doing jigsaws and these days there’s an added bonus — by posting my progress on Instagram I…
Dear Mary: Should I tell my friend that his expensive lunch made me ill?
Q. I see a lot of two of our grandchildren because they live in our London house. We are centrally…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette about kissing during the coronavirus scare?
Q. I am having a drinks party to celebrate the publication of my latest book. I sent out invitations (to…
Dear Mary: As an actor, how do I cope with strangers who think they know me?
Q. I have hired a private room in a restaurant in order to give dinner to a large number of…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my mother-in-law sitting on newspaper whenever she comes to my house?
Q. When my mother-in-law visits, she puts newspaper on a dining chair before sitting down. I’m so speechless that someone…
Dear Mary: How can I stop other diners eating my chips?
Q. My husband and I are committed Brexiteers. For many years we have regularly enjoyed friendly bridge evenings with a…
Dear Mary: How can I hang out with smokers at parties without freezing?
Q. As a young woman I tend not to wear that much to social events in the evening, but I…
Dear Mary, from Joan Collins: How do I stop fans asking for selfies in the powder room?
From Dame Joan CollinsQ. Invariably, when I escape to the ladies’ room or powder room or restroom (whatever the current…
Dear Mary: What can we do about our son’s girlfriend’s appalling table manners?
Q. My son has a girlfriend who we like but who has appalling table manners. They come to stay most…
The unwritten rules of sending Christmas cards
No one sends Christmas cards any more. Except that I do, and you might, and a few other people do…
Dear Mary: How do I stop getting lumbered with the washing up on weekends away?
Q. A friend, who is very careful with his money, occasionally invites a group of six to eight out to…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eating everything in the fridge?
Q. A friend of a friend has an apartment in Venice. I would like to commiserate with her about the…
Dear Mary: What should I do about a Lib Dem friend who can no longer take a joke?
Q. I sent a WhatsApp message to a Lib Dem friend of 15 years. ‘How are you finding being a…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my dad treating my mum like a slave?
Q. Dad takes an old-fashioned approach to marriage: I have never seen him clear his plate and he does not…
Dear Mary: Is my brother being gaslighted by his boss?
Q. My brilliant brother, who graduated last year, could find nowhere to live in London so we were all delighted…
Dear Mary: Do I have a moral duty to allow Brexit chat at supper parties?
Q. I’ve been having friends to supper for many decades. Although I say it myself, these gatherings have often been…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour making weird noises when he exercises in the garden?
Q. I sing soprano in a small church choir, ten to 12 singers. The woman I am placed next to…
Dear Mary: How can I tell a man at yoga class to cover up?
Q. My sister runs a yoga school and a middle-aged gentleman has joined. Although she is delighted to encourage male…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with university flatmates who can’t cook?
Q. For many years I employed around 60 people with whom I worked in an open-plan office. I moved on from…
Dear Mary: Is it OK for a couple to ask us to contribute to their savings as a wedding gift?
Q. Every three months or so my PA blossoms into a great beauty for a couple of weeks, then has…
Dear Mary: Can I ask my vegan friend to buy eggs and bacon when I stay with her?
Q. The other day a dear friend rang from her car with all the time in the world to burn…
Dear Mary: How do we explain being in Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book?
Q. We often have friends coming to stay before (and after) we all head off for Glyndebourne, a 20-minute drive…
Dear Mary: How much should I tip a black cab driver?
Q. We have near neighbours in the country with whom I would not wish to fall out for all sorts…
Dear Mary: What do you do when your hostess licks your spoon?
Q. I have happily overcome many moments of diplomatic and social challenge, but was stumped by the case of the…
Dear Mary: How can my son tell if his cleaner is stealing from him?
Q. What is your view on emailed vs handwritten thank-yous? During my recent travels around pre-Brexit Europe I stayed in…
