Q. I own a flat and have rented two rooms out to friends from university. Now they have fallen in love. This means the three of us are often in the kitchen at the same time or watching television together at close quarters. They never stop kissing and cuddling and declaring their love – in front of me. Of course I am happy for them but even if I had my own boyfriend, I would consider PDAs TMI. How can I get them to stop without coming across as bitter? 

– Name and address withheld

A. This phase will probably not last long but you are right – Public Displays of Affection do tend to offer Too Much Information – especially when performed in an intimate domestic setting. Send a shot across the bows using the following method. Pretend you’re looking for a new armchair for the main room of the house and use the opportunity to take photos of where you might ‘want it’ with them in the background snogging on several separate occasions so that when you eventually show them a slideshow of spaces where you might want the chair to be they can see how often they are all over each other. As they pore over the shots they may reasonably decide to hereafter put a curb on their excesses. 

Q. I see my doctor fairly regularly due to a non-life-threatening skin condition. She works out of a practice in SW3 and I quite frequently will spot various familiar faces from my social circle in the waiting room. Mary, what is the correct way to behave in this scenario?

– Name and address withheld

A. Simply smile and sketch a wave – the sort of wave which both acknowledges but repels further interaction. Then drop your head to continue scrolling or reading.

Q. We live near to a much-loved old friend, now divorced, who often comes to informal supper with my husband and me. We have known him for years and have never previously noticed that he seems to spill an awful lot of food down himself while eating. The problem is so bad that we feel he almost needs a bib. Since he has low self-esteem because of his divorce we don’t want to undermine him. How should we proceed? 

– Name withheld, Oxford

A. When you and your husband sit down you should each tie a giant white linen table napkin around your neck. As your guest sees that his hosts are wearing these already he will not feel self-conscious when you hand one to him. He will probably be much happier. One well-known divorced man who regularly hosts in his own home is famous for continuing to wear his apron at the table after he has cooked. He even makes a joke about it and thereby turns his clumsiness into an endearing trait.