Etiquette

Dear Mary

20 May 2023 9:00 am

Dear Mary: Should I give weekend guests paper napkins or napkin rings?

29 October 2022 9:00 am

Q. I have a hatred of paper napkins – eating outside, they blow away; inside, people drop them on the…

Dear Mary: How do I curb my brother’s unsavoury language?

22 October 2022 9:00 am

Q. My brother, who lives in southern France, uses unsavoury words to gain my attention, such as ‘infernal swine’, ‘schweinhund’…

Dear Mary: Why aren’t I getting more Instagram ‘likes’?

8 October 2022 9:00 am

Q. As a novice user of Instagram I was flattered at how quickly I gathered followers – 200 already. Many…

Dear Mary: How do I get out of a friend’s bad birthday party?

1 October 2022 9:00 am

Q. I shall be spending more time in the company of newer acquaintances in the West Country and would appreciate…

Dear Mary: How do I confront my husband without telling him I hacked his emails?

17 September 2022 9:00 am

Q. The Queen had the knack of making you feel that you were the only person in the room. At…

Dear Mary: How do I get my friends to leave after a dinner party?

10 September 2022 9:00 am

Q. We have made available our mews cottage – 30 yards from our main house – to a woman with…

Should you grass on a neighbour who breaks the hosepipe ban?

13 August 2022 9:00 am

A neighbourly feud is worse than a hosepipe ban

Dear Mary: Can I ask our hosts to look for my husband’s tooth in the flowerbed?

13 August 2022 9:00 am

Q. My 74-year-old husband was having drinks in the garden of some young clients when he bit down on an…

Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbours I’m too busy to stop for a chat?

6 August 2022 9:00 am

Q. My parents are abroad for two months and as my flatmates in London are all, like me, working from…

Dear Mary: How do I stop a mutual friend giving my contact details to a man I don’t like?

30 July 2022 9:00 am

Q. Everyone was divine at a very jolly lunch I attended in the Cotswolds with the exception of one person,…

Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting waylaid at a packed party?

16 July 2022 9:00 am

Q. I have found parties frustrating this month because they have been too crowded. Is there a polite way to…

Dear Mary: Must I call my new partner my ‘boyfriend’ when we’re in our seventies?

25 June 2022 9:00 am

Q. My girlfriend and I have started using a personal trainer for some joint sessions at our local gym; the…

Dear Mary: How should I handle summer invitations when I might get a better offer?

4 June 2022 9:00 am

Q. In order to raise money for a worthwhile cause, I have agreed to open my garden for the first…

Dear Mary: Should house guests pay to charge their electric cars?

28 May 2022 9:00 am

Q. My wife’s father, who she adored, has died and she is to be his sole beneficiary. She intends to…

Dear Mary: How do I dodge my village’s Jubilee tug-of-war contest?

21 May 2022 9:00 am

Q. I’m 28 and lucky enough to own a four-bed house in Notting Hill. I let three of the rooms…

Dear Mary: How do I stop my father’s girlfriend boiling a full kettle for one cup of tea?

23 April 2022 9:00 am

Q. Financially successful friends have kindly invited my husband and me to stay for a week in France. Our problem…

Dear Mary: How do you stop a cat from sneaking next door?

16 April 2022 9:00 am

Q. A great friend is in a terrible state regarding a cat foisted on her by a close relation. She…

Dear Mary: How do I convince my brother to go to a fancy dress party?

9 April 2022 9:00 am

Q. My brother’s social life has dried up since his divorce (which coincided with the pandemic). So when he received…

Dear Mary: How do I deal with my book club’s dietary requirements?

2 April 2022 9:00 am

Q. I live in the Hampshire countryside, in a lovely apartment where I have the use of an old walled…

Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband spying on me?

26 March 2022 9:00 am

Q. My husband has developed an irksome habit whenever he goes abroad without me. We have cameras outside the house…

Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of tipping takeaway delivery drivers?

12 March 2022 9:00 am

Q. Rory Sutherland recently wrote about high-end takeaways (Wiki Man, 19 February). In the last London lockdown, I was fortunate…

Dear Mary: How do I stop my new friend leaving me broke?

5 March 2022 9:00 am

Q. Recently I started hanging out with a new friend. We are both in our twenties, single, and usually go…

Dear Mary: How do I tell my friends that napkin rings are the height of naff?

26 February 2022 9:00 am

Q. Three weeks ago I banged my head on the lower branch of our near neighbours’ tree, which I couldn’t…

Dear Mary: How do I tackle the menace of strangers making mobile calls on speakerphone?

19 February 2022 9:00 am

Q. As if it wasn’t bad enough to overhear one side of a conversation as it’s bellowed into a mobile…