Etiquette
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Dear Mary: how can I hide that I’m no longer drinking?
Q. I have given up drink except on certain occasions when it would be really rude to refuse. What’s the…
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Dear Mary: How can I get my annoying children to answer my texts?
Q. I have learned through a third party that a friend, who is feeling particularly insecure these days, has not been…
Dear Mary: How can I deal with an aggressive Big Issue seller?
Q. I wondered if you could advise me on a rather embarrassing situation please. I sing in my local Church…
Dear Mary: Should I ever tip at a private club?
Q. I am an artist living in the UK and was charmed to be invited by a fellow artist, a…
Dear Mary: how do I stop a Londoner dominating my village book club?
Q.A senior colleague, on discovering that I’m a friend of someone who has become quite famous, engaged with me warmly…
Dear Mary: How do I get an answer from my elusive publisher?
Q. What is the current etiquette regarding chasing an opinion from a publisher to whom, by agreement and via a…
Dear Mary: is it ever acceptable to use a dental brush at the dinner table?
Q. Whenever I go to the theatre or cinema with any man of 60-plus, he falls asleep, even when the…
Problems solved for Michael Fabricant, Liz Truss, Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley, Anthony Horowitz and others
From Michael Fabricant MPQ. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked…
Dear Mary: my Botox treatments make me look standoffish. How can I appear warm?
Q. A friend and I are giving a combined Christmas drinks party for 120 people. It’s being held at her…
Dear Mary: How can I stop chatty friends from phoning when I’m meant to be working?
Q. May I pass on a tip to anyone facing large family house parties at Christmas? I always used to…
Dear Mary: How do I stop rabbits eating Mum’s graveside flowers?
Q. A difficult couple of our acquaintance always object to other guests at dinner and can be very rude to…
Dear Mary: What can I do about loud train snorers?
Q. At every drinks party one will be in mid-conversation with another guest and someone will walk over and loiter…
Dear Mary: How can I face the friends who warned me that my girlfriend would dump me?
Q. Previously a long-term and content single man, earlier in the year I began a relationship with a wonderful girl,…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my wife from sabotaging my anecdotes?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently…
Dear Mary: My friend’s cooked breakfasts make me gag
Q. My fiancé and I spend many great weekends with another couple. I am a vegetarian and quite particular about…
My long gossipy letters to an old friend get just a few words in response
Q. An old friend shares aesthetic sensibilities and tastes in people. Hence we have sustained a highly enjoyable correspondence over…
Dear Mary: what do you say to neighbours who find you in your nightdress?
Q. I recently gave a jolly dinner for eight friends (some old, some rather famous), all home cooking, ending with…
Dear Mary: Is it really forbidden to eat with a fork’s tines facing upwards?
Q. My husband and I have been invited to the birthday party of a distinguished public figure with whom we…
My faux pas at the Duke of Beaufort’s bash
A letter from a reader in South Africa mentions that the writer’s father insisted a white dinner jacket was permissible…
Dear Mary: I had £300 stolen while at a friend’s house. Should I tell them?
Q. Following a small dinner last night in a private house, I got home to find £300 missing from my…
Dear Mary: I can’t put names to faces – and it’s starting to upset friends
Q. I am in my mid-sixties and have started to suffer from nominal aphasia. At a recent wedding in the…
Dear Mary: How can I weed out the party ‘flakes’?
Q. I invited four younger colleagues, all in their mid to late thirties, to go for a meal at a…
Dear Mary: How do we evict a narcissistic flatmate without starting World War III?
Q. I live in a houseshare with two other people; one of whom I am very fond of and the…
Dear Mary: What do I say when people want to visit my family’s stately home for free?
Q. My husband and I were among the first to arrive at a recent large house party in Scotland. We…
How should you deal with a competitive best friend?
Q. Good friends, who moved away from our city suburb a couple of years ago, retain a pied-à-terre the better…
