Q. I have a public profile and have always looked after my personal presentation, but my identical twin has never bothered with hers. She wouldn’t dream of covering up the broken veins on her cheeks and her hair is quite grey and frizzy. Now I’m getting married and worry that my sister’s appearance could cause some of the clients I’ve invited to rethink my ‘relevance’. What should I do, Mary?

– Name and address withheld

A. Explain to your twin that after you had paid for a hair and make-up artist for the wedding, you came under pressure from a colleague whose hair and make-up-artist daughter could get urgently needed publicity from working with you. Would your twin mind taking the other appointment? It seems a shame to waste the money. The make-up artist can be briefed to effect a speedy transformation with hair colour and cosmetic masking-agents over the assorted defects.  The enjoyable tampering will lull your sister into compliance.

Q. Having inherited a small collection of objects, I would like to give one of these to an older friend and mentor to thank her for her generosity over the years. This friend is famed for her exquisite taste and although I feel I am on her wavelength I cannot be sure, as in the past she has sometimes mocked clothing I’ve bought. Yet although she is plain-speaking, I know that if I ask her before giving if she would like it, she would be so moved by the gesture she would say yes, rather than embarrass me for having got her taste so wrong. But she would then be stuck with something whose presence irritates her. Help!

– M.C., London SW7

A. Visit the elderly friend and ‘accidentally’ leave behind the intended object unwrapped in a carrier bag. When she rings to say you’ve left something behind, say: ‘Oh, can you describe it?’ If she says, ‘It’s the most exquisite thing!’ you can explain it is a present for her. If she says, ‘It’s the most hideous thing!’ you can reply: ‘Oh yes, that’s mine. I was bringing it to Bonhams to get it valued.’

Q. Re. who should pay for dinner (5 August): why would the fourth-wave feminist assume the man was on a higher salary? That suggests she is a misandrist, not a feminist.

– I.T., by email

A. Not necessarily a misandrist, but as reader R.O. of Kent has pointed out the man could not know until the end of dinner if the woman did not plan to pay. He suggests: ‘At the end of any such dinner the man thinks aloud the bill – “So, £68.50, what’s that divided by two?…” It will quickly become evident whether the woman will play ball or not.’

 
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk