Etiquette
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a…
Dear Mary
Q. How can I avoid becoming seen as an ‘Instagram creeper’? My well-meaning niece tells me that I’m in danger…
Dear Mary
Q. My partner and I recently had two close friends — one a Peer, the other a former Member of the…
Dear Mary
Q. Some rather flashy new neighbours of ours — I won’t mention their names as his will be familiar to…
Dear Mary
Q. I am in my seventies and my husband is in his nineties. The other night we had two couples…
Dear Mary
Q. I’m shortly to host a very large family gathering. Everyone will be related to the same ancestor, so we…
Snapping point
Our family holiday snaps used to be slides. We’d gather in the sitting room while Dad clicked through each one.…
Dear Mary
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Dear Mary
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
Dear Mary: What can you do when your new neighbours stiff you on a restaurant bill?
Q. We moved recently and new neighbours invited us to join them for dinner at a nearby restaurant. I planned…
Dear Mary: Is it OK to ask to drink the wine you brought to a dinner party?
Q. What is the etiquette regarding asking to drink the wine you have brought to a dinner party? The man…
Dear Mary: why have all my friends given me scented candles?
Q. My super successful son kindly gave a birthday dinner party for me in a glamorous London club. I have never…
A puzzle for President Obama: is it really that British to queue?
The language that President Barack Obama used was evidence of skulduggery, Nigel Farage declared. ‘The UK is gonna be in…
Dear Mary: how can my friend make her husband wear his hearing aids?
Q. A friend of mine’s husband is in his nineties. They are a delightful couple but the husband has started…
Dear Mary: How can I make a conversation-stopping gaffe go away?
Q. What should a host do when a guest says something so embarrassing in front of the assembled company that…
Dear Mary: How to stop a host turning his dinner party into a debate
Q. Twice recently our host has clinked his glass, required us to stop relaxing and instead take part in a…
Dear Mary: my niece hasn’t returned the small sum I lent her
Q. My niece, who came to stay with me in the country for the weekend, arrived without cash and asked…
Dear Mary: How can I teach my godson to write thank-you letters?
Q. I recently rediscovered a wonderful 22-year-old godson. He came to shoot for the first time and was a marvellous…
Dear Mary: Must I have name badges for guests at my wedding?
Q. My husband-to-be and I both work full time. We are getting married from his family HQ and his kind…
Dear Mary: How can I escape the New Year party that just won’t give up?
Q. For the past two New Year’s Eves we have ducked an annual party given by some acquaintances, who are…
Dear Mary: My neighbour is planning a girls’ night in — how can I escape?
Q. Although I have met most of the fellow occupants of my building at residents’ meetings, we don’t socialise. However…
Dear Mary solves problems for Nicky Haslam, Nigel Slater, Professor Mary Beard and others
From Nicky Haslam Q. Being considered something of a guru on the subject of things common, can you advise me…
Dear Mary: How can I shut up business travel bores?
Q. I work in the London art market. Often, when I run into a fellow dealer and ask how they…
The secret brilliance of Prince Philip’s ‘gaffes’
I’ve just been on the receiving end of a Prince Philip gaffe, of sorts, and I loved it. It was…
Dear Mary: why are young women dyeing their hair grey?
Q. I have lunch once a month with an old university friend. Over the years we have both thickened out…
