Q. I have got myself in a pickle. My boss was given a bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal by a client. It came in a very smart presentation box. I thought it would be funny to open it and replace the champagne with a bottle of fizzy water. My boss duly took it home and I waited several days, expecting him to come in one morning laughing and saying: ‘Where is it?’ Alas, silence. So in passing I nudged him with a grin on my face and said: ‘How was the champagne?’ He then told me he had fallen out with a childhood friend and they had not spoken since Christmas, so he had wrapped the box and sent it to the friend – and the friend thought it was a snide prank. I have not had the guts to come clean, and the champagne remains in my desk drawer. What should I do, Mary? – H.R., London SW7

A. You have no option but to come clean. Do this by making a filmed confession. Wait till your boss is in the right mood, then send it via WhatsApp and stand in the room while he watches it. The advantage of this method is that your boss can forward the clip directly to the offended party. Meanwhile, insist on delivering the Louis Roederer by hand so you can apologise in person for your childish prank. Don’t worry. The debacle will help repair their relationship, as it will give them a new shared reference to laugh about.

Q. New friends have been to stay with us for a couple of weekends. They have asked us back to their seaside cottage, but mutual friends have told us their guest bed is catastrophically uncomfortable. We keep refusing their invitations but it is becoming awkward. Any ideas?

– A.N., Hereford

A. Say you want to make the bedroom they stayed in at your home as comfortable as possible for guests. Could they be frank about anything that could be improved. Pillows? Lighting? Give the unbidden promise that you will do the same when you stay at their cottage. Go there for one night only. In the morning gush that you were so happy to be with them that you hardly noticed the problems with the bed. Seriously, though, other guests who don’t adore them as much as you do might find it hard to sleep in it. Quickly resume gushing.

Q. A lovely client asked me to her villa for a week’s chilling. I thought it would be informal but I’ve seen the guest list and I just don’t have the clothes and no way could I afford to buy them. It’s too late to cancel. Help!

– B.B., London SW1

A. Go anyway and claim your case has been lost in transit. The secret law of house parties is that other guests will be delighted to lend you clothing.

Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk