Flat White

Bogans and the bourgeoise must unite to fight rich inner-city progressives

12 September 2018

7:50 AM

12 September 2018

7:50 AM

Bogans and the bourgeoise must unite to fight rich inner-city progressives

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has made it clear that Victoria is and will be a progressive state. His Victoria belongs to the progressives and the state’s progressive heartland is inner-city Melbourne which abounds in rainbow flags and Che Guevara t-shirts (of course, trying to explain to these rainbow clad warriors of equality that Guevara was a racist homicidal homophobe is like trying to explain cricket or universal healthcare to a Texas Republican, it is futile). Incidentally this progressive heartland of inner city Melbourne has among the highest property values and highest median incomes in the state. Yet many of the inhabitants, on their 200K+ salaries, who pay minimum wages to the immigrants who clean their plush multi-million dollar pads, still manage to tout the virtues of socialism with a straight face.

These people are not exactly the San Culotte of the French revolution; they are not the downtrodden, disempowered and dispossessed masses of urban poor. Rather, they are wealthy woke executives, quango directors, senior bureaucrats, activist journalists, marketing gurus, IT managers who dress like lumberjacks, university professors, lawyers, doctor’s wives, and their grungy sycophants. Daniel Andrews has bequeathed the state to these rich inner city progressives who, if I did not know better, I’d swear were the long-lost children of Lenin and Lady Gaga.

Under the Daniel Andrews government, Victoria has become Melbourngrad, not a government by and for the working class, no, it’s a politburo of progressivism that serves to advance and aggrandize the champagne socialism of these rich inner city bolshies.

What bugs me – and do indulge my hyperbole here – is that these rich inner progressives have levels of pretentiousness and prejudice that is matched only by their ignorance. These are people who have next to no knowledge of world history before Beyoncé. People who think the Soviet Union was something along the lines of Camelot. People who read the George Orwell novel 1984 and think Big Brother is the hero of the story. People who rave about the greatness of socialist dictators like Castro, Chavez, and Maduro and consider the victims of their tyrannical regimes to be American puppets. People who worship at the church of intersectionality and believe every person can be classified as either oppressor or the oppressed. People who think that penises are a social construct. People who really suppose that a progressive paradise is just a few censorship laws away. People who think hiking petrol prices to $5 a litre would be a stroke of environmental genius as it would force the suburban plebs to stop driving their cars; of course, the inner city progressives are immune to such economic anxieties since they can afford such a hike or else they live only two tram stops from work. People who imagine themselves to be the protectors of the poor, even while they deride the banalities of the bogan working class and despise the aspirations of the bourgeois middle class. People who publicly condemn racism and yet in private become Twitter trolls to any brown-skinned person who dares to deviate from the progressive script (on this last point, if you don’t believe me, follow Warren Mundine on twitter, @nyunggai, the brother gets called by the racial slur “coconut” on a near-daily basis and its always by progressive trolls including ABC journalists like Paul Bongiorno).

And just why do these rich inner city progressives loathe us so? It is because we take our kids out for Happy Meals rather than treat them to cannabis flavoured tofu. It is because we drive a Ford Fiesta or Mazda 3 rather than a Lexus hybrid. Because we’d rather watch Jurassic World than an art-house documentary about the erotic adventures of Latvian florists. Because we like a flat white from our local café rather a $25 latte infused with the teardrops of a Tibetan yak. But most of all, they despise us because we refuse to prostrate ourselves before them and worship them.


And these rich inner city progressives are Daniel Andrews’ peeps, his tribe, and his base. Daniel Andrews’ vision of Victoria is for them and about them, it is a truly vast vision, it stretches from St. Kilda to Brunswick. This is why Daniel Andrews treats the rich inner progressives like his very own children and he treats the rest of us as distant cousins with personal hygiene issues. This is why Daniel Andrews campaigns on issues like infrastructure, education, and energy, but once in office his focus is on euthanasia, gender fairies, and making sure Muslim schools will be forced to hire a queer vegan Rastafarian as their next vice-principal.

It is why he’s been more interested in policing gender pronouns than policing our streets. This is why he’s turned the police force into his own private extortion racket whereby visiting conservative speakers like Lauren Southern and Nigel Farage – neither of whom are, let the record show, my cup of tea – must pay for police protection if they want to be kept safe from the progressive mobs and their violence.

Let me add that Daniel Andrews’ Victoria is not a paradise of economic equality or a paragon of social inclusiveness. No, on his watch, Melbourne city has become a playground for the rich and dissidents to progressive ideologies are branded as fascist demagogues.

Victoria needs a political revolution, the working class and middle class must unite and stand up against Melbourngrad with its rich inner progressives, wrestle the state from them, and give it back to the people.

We want a state for everyone, for the farmers of Mildura, the school teachers of Albury, for a couple of gay café owners down the Peninsula, Coptic bricklayers in Ballarat, Muslim taxi-drivers in Essendon, receptionists in Warrnambool, hairdressers in Shepparton, Sudanese shop-assistants in Sale, the hippies in Warrandyte, the plumbers of Werribee, nurses in Bendigo, Greek lawyers out in Gippsland, and indigenous people everywhere. We want the right to dissent to progressive and conservative orthodoxies without fear of reprisal. We want to be a state of all faiths and none. We want a place where Hipsters and Hindus can live side-by-side in peace. We want leaders who espouse genuine virtue, not virtue-signalling. We want to judge a leader by their actions, not by their hashtags. We want economic prosperity shared across the state and not concentrated in their inner-city. We want government from the centre, not the fringes. Parents should be supported by the state in raising their children, parents should not be considered as having custody of their children on behalf of the state. We want freedom of speech as a right, not a privilege to be taken away at the whim of progressive thugs.

The Daniel Andrews government has not only turned away from the working class and middle class, they’ve turned against them. If the Victorian ALP won’t change leaders or change tack, if they are the party for the rich inner city progressives and the condescending pseudo-socialist-posers, well, then there is only one alternative (and that’s without mentioning electoral rorting and expense scandals).

This November, vote liberal, vote for Matthew Guy, vote for freedom, a state for everyone, vote for opportunity, prosperity, and equality, and stick it to the rich inner city progressives.

We will never have a free and fair state until Melbourngrad is no more!

#BurnMelbourngrad

Rev Dr Michael F. Bird is an Anglican Priest and theologian. He tweets @mbird12 and blogs at Euangelion.

Illustration: City of Yarra.

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