Flat White

Leftist meltdowns on broomsticks

4 November 2020

4:00 AM

4 November 2020

4:00 AM

It’s a very troubling state of affairs when an angry pack of left-wing activists are campaigning to see hard-working Aussies lose their jobs during a global pandemic. 

And so, it was highly amusing to see our witchy mates having a meltdown over their so-called advertiser “witchdrawals” earlier this week.  

Their count went backwards. 

They were not happy. 

All of us sane folk laughed. 

They posted, presumably through tears, “If you remember our last advertiser witchdrawal, lovelies, you might notice that our count here has actually gone BACKWARDS today. Yep, that’s correct: today we sadly have to tell you the bad news that of the 157 withdrawals we had posted as of last Friday, we can now advise that four of them have returned to advertising in #NewsCorpse papers. AAAAAARGH.” 


“We’re really disappointed in this,” the sobbing witches continued.  


“Why the f**k would companies which have pulled out of advertising with Murdoch GO BACK?”

Perhaps because such advertising enables them to reach their required demographic? 

Maybe because they see the benefit in running such ads, rather than caving into lunatic, fringe, activist pressure? 

Is there a chance they may be [gasp] exercising their right to think for themselves? 

Then they ramped up the caps and hurled in some more f-bombs, clearly rattled that the whole entire world may dare not to share their worldview. 

“F**k SAKE,” they wrote. “WHAT THE FLYING F**K IS GOING ON HERE.” 


They encouraged fellow broomstick buddies to contact Chairman Dan to complain about his “own f**king government department”, advertising with the enemy.  

Please, contact Andrews through his FB page or Twitter or email today,” the snivelling sisterhood continued. “The last thing we need, witches, is for our count to go BACKWARDS. We need to stop this, and ask these companies where their integrity is.” 

We can’t have organisations standing up for themselves, can we? 

If this was a dish being served on Masterchef, it would be scoring ten out of ten and described as “utterly delicious. 

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