Flat White

The race to the White House: it’s the penis or vagina thing

9 March 2020

6:41 PM

9 March 2020

6:41 PM

Given the choice between an old socialist white woman who used to do appearances on Dr Phil and an old socialist white man who used to do appearances in the Soviet Union, this should have been the sort of socialism all-you-can-eat you only see at a Festival of Dangerous Ideas with everyone arguing over who gets to be the useful idiot.  

But with the withdrawal of Elizabeth Warren all the Left are left with now is Bernie Sanders, an Old White Male, even though at 70, if she’d won we would have had an Old White Woman instead. This isn’t the same thing though as a feminist woman never reveals her age unless it’s in a Nine glossy feature on 95-year-old female Instagram influencers who really should be dead rather than wearing Versace and talking about how arthritis is the new Viagra.  

Maybe the Democrats should just exhume Eleanor Roosevelt or prop-up Jackie Kennedy in one of her Chanel suits and run one of them for office. 

Which really just leaves us with the genitalia thing. Are you a penis or a vagina kind of voter? This is all very straight forward. As Madeline Albright said when supporting Hillary all those years ago – there’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t support Hillary Clinton. Though I’m not sure if that included all the disgruntled women Bill had been screwing.  

Hillary for her part is cooling her heels and seeing who falls over first. It’s Hillary 2016 all over again without the ‘deplorable’ references ‘cause she might actually need all those hick toothless nobodies after all. 


You can tell she’s already cranking up the Clinton PR machine. Her new documentary Hillary is all about Hillary’s favourite topic and features husband Bill’s mea culpa saying his cheating with Lewinsky was due to anxiety and stress. This is the same reason men masturbate, go to suburban massage parlours and take up smoking. If only they’d had vaping back then.  

The Left is always left with these curious ideological choices – it’s like choosing between the chicken and the beef when you don’t actually like the couple getting married and wish they were both dead except you’ve already purchased the gift at the bridal registry. AOC and The Squad are the reception centre staff in this scenario. 

But back in 2008, it was the choice between the first black versus first woman US President. Unfortunately, the tribe spoke and race trumped gender which is a pity for gender as the whole transitioning thing that is railroading society right now is dissipating the feminist base.  

The first non-male American president may well just be a set of pronouns wearing a white pantsuit.  

As it is, the progressive media is losing its brain over the fact two old white males in Bernie and Joe Biden will be going at it for the Democratic nomination rather than the one-millionth-part native American woman. 

Now the choice to take on Trump is between the socialist who thinks the Cuban education system is really cool never mind the firing squads and locked up homosexuals versus the white bread also-ran plagiarist who can’t remember his wife’s name. 

My money’s on a late-run Hillary running on Bloomberg-Weinstein money if the Old White Male socialist gets anywhere near the candidacy. 

And a Weinstein pardon in 2021. 

Michael Scammell is a writer and former US Consulate staffer. He writes at https://mdswords.wordpress.com.

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