Flat White

CBD: BS and Nut Ally’s lovers tiff over who’s on top

2 May 2019

8:21 AM

2 May 2019

8:21 AM

Our perspicacious political insider writes exclusively:

CBD grew up in a loving household where the parents (no gendering necessary) would have their tiffs but they knew, as we the children did, that the underlying love and commitment would ultimately prevail. It was only a matter of time before hostilities ceased and the relationship was back to normal.

So CBD is not at all perturbed about the tiff within GULAG after Dr Dick Nut Ally’s address to the National Press Club yesterday. BS and Nut Ally will ensure the GULAG remains strong and united. They know they’ll be sleeping together in the same bed after May 18. Rest easy. The relationship will be fully resumed.

They’ve both become a bit precious knowing not all the children agree with each of them all the time and so the natural tendency to seek support from the favourite off spring takes over. However instinctively the children know that in this case the parents (dumb and mad) will get together again and all will be as it was before.

So the “no more lock ups of native forests” mantra proclaimed by Labor and denounced by the Greens yesterday will be resolved. If not quickly great aunt GetUp will be called in to achieve compromise.

CBD has always believed a good partnership involves compromise. The proof? Every time Labor and the Greens get together Australia is compromised.

Confidence can be had by GULAG supporters in there being no need to fret. The tiff is nothing serious. Indeed Labor, in the state where forestry still operates, has preferenced the Greens third after a convicted independent Green. (Sally McManus would be so proud. Break the law if need be and that must justify breaking a woman’s wrist…. worthy of Labor’s preference while doubling money to stop violence against women).

The Greens similarly find the convicted independent Green worthy of their second preference ahead of Animal Justice, Hemp and then of course Labor. All is well. Mutual support locked in.

The commitment of keeping the GULAG together, strong and united is there for all to see. The proud GULAG alliance history proves it and the preference deals puts it beyond doubt by putting it into the contemporary. The GULAG is secure. C

BD will be contributing regularly throughout the campaign.

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