Flat White

Cirque du Sharia

1 January 2019

12:27 PM

1 January 2019

12:27 PM

Perhaps rejoicing at Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw the US forces from Afghanistan, the Taliban are working hard not to become Talitubbies when the time for the next offensive comes:

Taliban training video documentation is the gift that keeps on giving.

And in the true spirit of Christmastime generosities, the organization decided to release a new film — reportedly shot in Afghanistan — documenting their foray into cheer squad competitions.

Ditching their typical video recipe of highlighting immense monkey bar-traversing talents, the Taliban Commandos incorporated a bevy of choreographed stunts, dance moves and teamwork to challenge any and all cheer squads who stand in their way.

These guys are in it to win it and are here to p-p-p-pump you up, so bring it on. That goes for you, too, Rancho Carne High School cheer squad.

The routine has everything. Choreographed squad push-ups? Check. The most crisply-executed leap-frogging ever performed? Definitely. Death-defying, flaming hoop dives? You bet. Sword fighting with sticks? Hell yeah.

You can watch the whole short video at the link above, but in the meantime rest assured that no one needs to give up their day jobs just yet in favour of Taliban acrobats.

Personally, I would like to see some tricks with donkeys instead of guys jumping over each other’s back.

Arthur Chrenkoff blogs at The Daily Chrenk where this piece also appears.

Illustrations MEMRI TV.

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