Flat White

A pile of crap from the ABC. Literally…

11 December 2016

12:01 PM

11 December 2016

12:01 PM

snip20161210_9It’s 19 years since South Park sparked a seasonal scatological scandal with the episode Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo.

Now the ABC has decided if it’s going to devote so much time to transgender issues it really should give coprophiliacs a look in too.

And so a special long read has appeared on its website this weekend: Why are we so passionate about the smiling poop emoji?

What follows is more than 1000 words that goes through excrement even more painstakingly than those unfortunate Malaysians whose job it is to extract coffee beans that have passed through the digestive tracts of civet cats to produce the ultra-expensive Kopi Luwak brew.

Not only is there more than enough for coprophiliacs. Coprophagics are catered for as well, with a whole section on “smiling poop emoji cupcakes” as well as soft-serve ice cream that’s … well, do I really need to go on?

Instead, it’s probably best just to give you a quick, um, taste of the item:

In the past 12 months, the smiling poop emoji has become an unexpectedly beloved icon, among both the young and the not-so-young.

Its ability to ease uncomfortable social interactions — from discussing opposing political opinions to admitting first-world guilt — has seen it proliferate, well, almost everywhere.

Artisans on Etsy now offer everything from earrings to buttons and slippers in the shape of the emoji.

In July, music lovers at the Splendour in the Grass music festival, near Byron Bay, flocked to sit in a giant inflatable smiling pink poop emoji tent, created by a Spanish art collective …

In September, Indian actress Deepika Padukone was featured in a Vanity Fair magazine spread of hot young talents in which she declared that her most “overused emoji” was the smiling poop…

Yes, it’s a pile of crap which, when you remember your taxes have paid for it, is guaranteed to give you the shits.



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