Nick Newman

‘We suspect Humpty upset the Saudis.’

Humpty

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘All that futility and loss has given me an idea for a referendum.’

Western Front

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’ve come as the living dead.’

Party

1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘Nope — still can’t see Brexit.’

Mystic

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘There’s an outbreak of Mad Human Disease.’

Moospaper

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘If there’s global warming then how come there’s a cold war?’

Dunno

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘I don’t care what the sales are so long as they’re healthy.’

Publishing

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘We are innocent Russian tourists on riding holiday, looking forward to a good hack…’

Passport

11 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘How do you know you don’t like photographing your food if you haven’t tried it?’

Meal

4 October 2018 1:00 pm

‘The Labour conference is left, left, further left, and then on the far left.’

Left

27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Amazon would have delivered your sermon a lot quicker.’

Sermon

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Don’t feed the Lib Dems – it just encourages them.’

Rock

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘At least it isn’t called All The President’s Women.’

Bob Woodward

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

Salmond

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘With all these sex pests about, I’m not taking any chances.’

Sex pest

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘If you want publicity, pay hush money!’

Agent

30 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘I was present but I was not involved.’

GCSE results

23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Of course seats are expensive: they’re very rare.’

Rail fares

23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s outrageous that a real space alien didn’t get the role.’

Cast

16 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Boris didn’t have his cake and eat it, but he did take the biscuit.’

Biscuit

2 August 2018 1:00 pm

Drink

26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Rather than the cliff edge, we decided on a climbdown.’

Lemmings

26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘On second thoughts, I’d give the bins a miss.’

Foxes

19 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘The tension’s unbearable — I can’t bear to watch.’

Kane

12 July 2018 1:00 pm

Alexa

5 July 2018 1:00 pm