Nick Newman

Cracker

13 December 2018 3:00 pm

Christmas party

13 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘It’s a desperate fight for survival in a hostile environment.’

Debate

6 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘How embarrassing — we’ve been linked to a Tory donor!’

Escort

29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’m counting on Jeremy Hunt to get me out.’

Turkeys

29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘We can’t decide which drawing board to go back to.’

Drawing Board

22 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘This free fruit initiative is a terrific idea!’

Fruit

15 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘We suspect Humpty upset the Saudis.’

Humpty

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘All that futility and loss has given me an idea for a referendum.’

Western Front

8 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’ve come as the living dead.’

Party

1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘Nope — still can’t see Brexit.’

Mystic

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘There’s an outbreak of Mad Human Disease.’

Moospaper

25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘If there’s global warming then how come there’s a cold war?’

Dunno

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘I don’t care what the sales are so long as they’re healthy.’

Publishing

18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘We are innocent Russian tourists on riding holiday, looking forward to a good hack…’

Passport

11 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘How do you know you don’t like photographing your food if you haven’t tried it?’

Meal

4 October 2018 1:00 pm

‘The Labour conference is left, left, further left, and then on the far left.’

Left

27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Amazon would have delivered your sermon a lot quicker.’

Sermon

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Don’t feed the Lib Dems – it just encourages them.’

Rock

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘At least it isn’t called All The President’s Women.’

Bob Woodward

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

Salmond

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘With all these sex pests about, I’m not taking any chances.’

Sex pest

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘If you want publicity, pay hush money!’

Agent

30 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘I was present but I was not involved.’

GCSE results

23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Of course seats are expensive: they’re very rare.’

Rail fares

23 August 2018 1:00 pm