Nick Newman

‘I worry the British watch everything we do.’

Zoo

23 May 2019 1:00 pm

‘Fickle, selfish and cruel — but that’s politicians for you.’

Cats

23 May 2019 1:00 pm

Tory U-turn on shooting birds.

Shooting

9 May 2019 1:00 pm

‘It’s your outfit for meeting Mr Trump, Ma’am.’

Outfit

2 May 2019 1:00 pm

‘That’ll be £17, please.’

Exhibition

25 April 2019 1:00 pm

Marathon

25 April 2019 1:00 pm

‘You either love me or hate me.’

Marmotte

17 April 2019 1:00 pm

‘Enough about Fleabag — let’s talk about Brexit.’

Fleabag

17 April 2019 1:00 pm

‘I’ll travel to anywhere except April 2019.’

2019

11 April 2019 1:00 pm

Meeting

11 April 2019 1:00 pm

‘Are you available to take over as prime minister?’

Whelks

28 March 2019 3:00 pm

‘When a butterfly flaps its wings in China, Speaker Bercow says something in Westminster.’

Chaos

21 March 2019 3:00 pm

‘Ides of March? Project Fear nonsense!’

Ides of March

14 March 2019 3:00 pm

‘I draw the line at chlorinated chicken.’

Chicken

7 March 2019 3:00 pm

‘Due to Brexit shortages, we haven’t got a prayer.’

Church

28 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘Due to Brexit shortages, we haven’t got a prayer.’

Prayers

28 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘I’m stockpiling my dinner in anticipation of the shortages ahead.’

Dinner

28 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘It’s the shortages and civil war that’s putting me off going back to Britain.’

Return

21 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’

Ferry

16 February 2019 9:00 am

‘Haven’t we been punished enough?’

Prison

7 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘Same again — otherwise known as Plan B.’

Plan B

31 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘We hope there’s a shortage of petrol for bombs.’

Petrol bombs

31 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘I could do with a laugh.’

TV

24 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘So, what’s Plan B?’

Cliff

17 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘Since Veganuary she’s been very fussy about what food she photographs.’

Veganuary

10 January 2019 3:00 pm