Nick Newman

BMW

5 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Panama weren’t very taxing.’

World cup

28 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Can you bite my nails? I’m a vegetarian.’

Nails

21 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘This is the new runway for drunk BA pilots.’

Runway

14 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘The tower’s fine but the country’s collapsing.’

Leaning tower

7 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘We have a specious relationship.’

Trade war

7 June 2018 1:00 pm

GDPR

31 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘We found a wood-burning stove hidden in your cocaine.’

Wood burner

31 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘... as the bishop said to the actress.’

Bishop

24 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘I liked the way she didn’t hug me.’

Wax work

17 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘My millennial sexbot wants to remain celibate.’

Sexbot

10 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s safer than putting it in TSB.’

TSB

3 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Hello again...’

Back to the

26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Storks went out ages ago.’

Deliveroo

26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘I’m the war correspondent for Playboy.’

Trump

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘On second thoughts, I’ll give porridge theft a miss.’

Cottage

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘We need an expert on the dangers of computers. Send for Damian Green!’

Cobra

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Australia would be great if it weren’t for all the cheats.’

Oz cricket

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Let’s hope this celebration of chocolate isn’t hijacked by religion.’

Eggs

28 March 2018 2:00 pm

‘Now he knows what it’s like to be in a black hole.’

Hawking

28 March 2018 2:00 pm

‘Relax – the Novichok will get you before the cyber attack.’

Virus

22 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Is that Mike Pompeo’s welcome or leaving card?’

Good luck

15 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘We’ve got you off your stabilisers — next performance-enhancing drugs.’

Drugs

8 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Was the lecture cancelled due to snow or snowflakes?’

Snowflakes

8 March 2018 3:00 pm

Triggers

1 March 2018 3:00 pm