Fanny. In West Central Scotland – where my formative grasp of English was forged – we used to playfully dub folk ‘a fanny’. This was whether they’d innocently slipped on an icy path or purposely got into some argy-bargy at a local disco. Unsubtle but common, ‘fanny’ (slang for female genitalia, for the uninformed) was used much as how Aussies deploy the term ‘dickhead’.

I recall there wasn’t much maliciousness in it, and I sure wasn’t aware of its definitive heft as a gendered insult. But as you develop and grow you, you know … recognise its clear unsuitability. As a mature person, I’d never use the words ‘dickhead’ or ‘fanny’ in any commercial or professional environment and, as a lifetime PR adviser, would never scribble ‘dickhead’ into a political speech.

Yet some Australasians seem to regard this differently. This is despite the fact that we have newly informed norms and, increasingly, really stringent and politically correct rules.

There’s a welter of worthy guidelines about equality, gender, inclusion, pronouns, safety, respect and, of course, language. Because, as we’ve all been schooled, words matter. Words can heal, but they can also hurt and damage self-esteem and cause deep and long-standing emotional scars.

Yet – somehow – senior public figures are still wont to declare, with the relatable assurance of a car salesman waxing lyrical about a forecourt banger, that antisocial behaviour relates to ‘dickheads’.

Dickheads! Matter-of-fact. Unequivocal. A societal trope with the unmistakable whiff of beer mats and Lynx Africa. Premier Jacinta Allan used the D-word when gallantly ensuring boisterous round-ball fans will be permitted to watch Socceroo World Cup games live at Melbourne’s Federation Square. It is possibly the most sound decision of Jacinta’s stewardship, I’d add.

The World Cup should bring us together, not keep us apart. pic.twitter.com/U161zGW47S

— Jacinta Allan (@JacintaAllanMP) May 6, 2026

But the term ‘dickhead’ is also anatomically specific. Casually gendered. Pointedly selective in its corporal geography. In decrying any silly-willy behaviour, ‘dickheads’ instantly brings to mind gangs of uncivilised young men, right? Not young mums’ groups; not granny quilters or teen Matildas fans. Beery blokes. Coked-up blokes. Flare-chucking, soccer vapers. Late-night, train station-lurkers. The kinds of tools (there’s another gendered slur!) who follow wog-ball. Is it right-on for a female or male politician to tag young men thus? You’d need to ask the Victorian Premier or Winston Peters, I s’pose.

Anyways, if language does matter why is this particular flavour of insult still politically correct and not publicly constrained?

Some may be readily willing to excuse its deployment away but, seriously, why is only one type of genitalia still shorthand for bad behaviour – particularly in these enlightened and attuned times? Consistency, it seems, is like effective housing policy or the equality of gendered healthcare allocation: frequently alluded to, yet rarely delivered.

The nub is this: if you are going to police language, then govern it consistently and fairly because the societal stakes may be higher yet more hidden than realised on the surface.

I mentioned earlier that words and context both matter. Football – in the world sense – attracts many demographics but particularly, huge numbers of young, working-class men. Their uninhibited exuberance is often key to the electric atmosphere generated inside and around soccer stadiums; the bounceys, the chants, the Poznans, the waves. Youthful testosterone (and some intoxicating accelerants, I’m sure) brings the vibe and sometimes the vibe does get out-of-hand. That’s where a minority of fans’ behaviour gets unruly, turns hooligan and, on occasion, might even become criminal.

Now that’s where public figures must get lexically specific. They can warn against hooligan behaviour, troublemakers, public nuisances etc – they don’t have to dub and defame swathes of people as gender-adjacent dickheads. And it’s surely not at all right for champions of the left to use such a pejorative insult.

You might surmise that I’m sooking; a typical Scottish sook perhaps? Well, what about the crowds of young blokes silently sooking after being broad-brush vilified? Maybe they become unwilling to talk about how they feel they’re being stereotyped? Young blokes may instead seek solace in unhealthy quarters; with the marauders of the manosphere. Toxic influencers who peddle a false version of assured masculinity, albeit with nastier edges and, ultimately, self-serving intentions. Is that who we as a society want our young fellas to turn to when we impugn every Tom, Dickhead, and Harry?

In pollies’ quest for a more equal, inclusive and fairer society, their standards must apply to all comers and all groups. If one particular standard is, for instance, there should be: ‘no derogatory collective labels’, then apply it. If the motto is to ‘critique behaviour, not identity’, then let’s do that. Play the ball and not the man, as we say in over-55s football. And if the aim is to tackle antisocial conduct (relating to football, per se) there are thousands of vocabularic choices that don’t reference the crass dictionary.

You can’t insist language is consequential and then treat it as discretionary when the circumstance permits or showboat-chance presents. Especially from a political class that says words are weapons, which require regulatory frameworks, pronoun protocols, safe spaces and emotional check-ins.

Look, I’m not calling for an Aussie banter inquisition or a slang tribunal – just a bit more awareness and consistency.

To avoid daubing an entire demographic with a snappy soundbite, let’s not conflate relating to young men with casually punching down at them; by presuming they’re man enough or tough enough to take a bit of ridicule. All the while semiologically signalling to them, there are rules for some and other rules for, well, ’dickheads’.

Doing that kind of disingenuous stuff, marks you out as being ‘a bit of a fanny’, as we used to say – before we knew better!

Gerry McCusker is the Managing Director/Principal Adviser at The Drill Crisis Simulator.