Flat White

Footballers in, desperate Australians who want to see dying loved ones? How do you help us win the election?

11 September 2020

4:24 PM

11 September 2020

4:24 PM

Only the ‘compassionate’ left on Twitter could trend #ScottyTheBully as a defensive response to the cruel, heartless Annastacia Palaszczuk and her prison state formally known as Queensland. 

The message bleated to the increasing ire of her inmates is clear: footballers in – desperate Australians who want to visit dying loved ones? Nah, you don’t make us enough money to risk the pending election. 


It was The Bolt Report from Sky News who asked on Thursday, ‘What kind of premier makes a dying father choose which of his four children to say goodbye to because of arbitrary COVID restrictions?’ A worthless splatter from a seagull, wholly unqualified for political power – according to the national mood. 

Palaszczuk is not the only premier who cashed in their medical mandates for absolute power. Daniel Andrews, now overseeing the world’s newest ‘stan’, Danadrewstan, has camouflaged his police in what could only be described as ‘Antifa-chic’. Taking 2020 into consideration, I believe we were too quick to denounce those robot dogs patrolling parks in Singapore as part of their COVID response. At least computers can be reasoned with. 

Maybe it is time to sit down and ask ourselves what kind of apocalypse we want. If the choices for Australia are between a Communist Cannibal Survival Island and some form of Skynet, at least the latter might finally get the NBN working. 

In the meantime, I am starting a resettlement program for Victorian refugees. Those count as carbon credits, right? 

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