Flat White

Australia is fed up watching premiers engage in bondage-play with the free market

25 September 2020

3:03 PM

25 September 2020

3:03 PM

When a nation has as many public servants as there are genders, you’d bank on a few geniuses being mixed in with the confetti. Unfortunately, finding these individuals among their pencil-pushing brethren is about as likely as stumbling into Shambhala. 

Given what we have seen in the last eight months, our political class are not busy gestating a sensible economic recovery plan as promised. Instead, they have left an ominous void in the Covid discussion, usually filled with a vocabulary of sinister hashtags. 

Is there a plan or a fantasy? 


There is certainly an inevitability. Left to their own devices, the people will find a solution to this crisis and I guarantee you it won’t be, ‘give politicians more power’. 

Australia is fed up watching emboldened premiers engage in bondage-play with the free market, which is a bit like a free trial of Communism where police show up at your house with handcuffs if you leave an unfavourable review on social media. Perhaps the Constitution should have been a tad more explicit when it came to civilisation’s safe words? 

This is the point in the article where you’d expect to find an Orwell joke, but honestly, if we keep taking this bloke’s name in vain he’s going to resurrect and collect on the copyright. 

Instead, think of it this way. Australia is a mine shaft littered with the tiny fluffy bodies of expired canaries. Our politicians crunch over them on their way to the cameras where they pretend that a pandemic is responsible for the gas leak rather than a staffer hitting things with a hammer. 

Over a million Australian businesses are on JobKeeper – most owned by families who will lose their home if economically clumsy politicians make a mistake. Which, of course, they are. 

If no one opens their cages, the private sector will drag the public sector down into the pile of bloody feathers. 

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