Flat White

Gratuitous advice from a humble Liberal branch member

6 July 2017

2:39 PM

6 July 2017

2:39 PM

Dear Malcolm

As a conservative member of the Liberal Party, I want you to succeed. I genuinely do. The alternative is too worrisome for my family, my friends and me.

I, like many, was disappointed with what happened on 14 September 2015. However, that is now water under the bridge.

Too much time has passed and time heals everything.

I am rather fond of you actually; you have a certain charm and charisma and smile about you that is warm and inviting. Lucy too is an asset. And, at the end of the day, you did win an election for the Coalition, which is indisputably commendable (albeit by a seat).

That said, there is little denying that some things have to change and we cannot go on like this for much longer.

People are starting to stop listening.

As you know when that happens and the rot sets in, you can do very little to change it. Think of Howard in 2007, Rudd in 2010, Gillard in 2013. And, if we want to be frank, Abbott in 2015.

You receive unsolicited advice on policy all the time, so I will not address this substantially. Suffice to say that your primary focus at this point should be to quit your environmental crusade and just keep energy prices low.


This issue is affecting every single household and business in Australia, and while you may not be feeling the pinch as much as some, this is biting in middle Australia.

You need to identify with the people this issue is affecting, just as John Howard and Tony Abbott respectively did during their time as Prime Minister; remember ‘Howard’s Battlers’ and ‘Tony’s Tradies’. We need ‘Malcolm’s Middle-Class”. You have struggled to grapple with this concept since you became leader of the party, but rest assured this can be easily fixed as I have a solution.

Bear with me though. It is rather forward:

Appoint Tony Abbott as Minister for Homeland Security.

As I see it, this homeland security portfolio should primarily address two issues: energy security and national security.

Here, you can let the ‘bulldog’ Abbott out to maul Labor and the Greens on a medium sized leash. But remember, he will now be in your backyard.

Let the bulldog speak his mind on cheaper, reliable and accessible energy (remember, he did win an election against Labor on his opposition to the carbon tax).

You can also let him speak his mind on national security and immigration where people perceive him to be naturally strong (remember, the widespread praise of Abbott’s response to MH 17 going down and the way he stopped the boats).

Instead then of the public and the media commentating that he is working against you, let him start working for you. He has a good legacy on these issues and people trust him to deliver.

Furthermore, Tony Abbott cannot then be seen to be critical of the government if he is in the executive of the government. You as Prime Minister could then publicly deride him if he criticises the government. Indeed, you could even demote him as a minister if he goes off the reservation. That’s more than you can do at the moment.

Overwhelmingly the message that Abbott will start prosecuting for the Coalition with regard to energy and national security will start delivering votes back to you and back to the Liberal Party.

And the votes will start coming back where it matters; the swing seats in Western Sydney, Brisbane, Tasmania and outer-eastern Melbourne.

Please, if you want to keep the keys to the Lodge in the Liberal Party’s hands, bring Tony Abbott in as Minister for Homeland Security.

I am sure that it will make an immediate difference to your, no, our current fortunes.

Yours sincerely

Paul Mitchell

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