Life
Printers are pure evil
‘Printers are evil,’ said the office supplies salesman after I texted him to complain that my new printer was not…
The brilliance of Alastair Down
Long before I could afford to go racing I began collecting racing books, my first jumble sale acquisition the marvellously…
Mince, glorious mince
Sometimes, when it comes to culinary history, Britain is its own worst enemy. For a long time, British food has…
Ausie life
‘Now, Jill, what would you like to be when you grow up?’ ‘I’d like to be an equal opportunity commissioner.’…
Language
A Speccie reader (Greg) has asked me to say something about the expression ‘AI’, meaning artificial intelligence. The expression is…
Did I deny my son a shot at the Premier League?
When my youngest son Charlie was seven he was talent-spotted by a QPR scout who saw him playing football in…
Dear Mary: How can we get our messy little boys excused from formal lunches?
Q. To my surprise I have been asked to give a eulogy at the funeral of someone I knew only…
How to buy a house that isn’t on the market
There are many, mutually reinforcing causes of the property crisis: it is too easy to borrow; there are too many…
Meet me in St Louis
Garry Kasparov retired from competitive chess in 2005, but has proved that at the age of 61 he remains competitive…
The slippery business of catching a snake
Dante’s Beach, Ravenna It is strange how events elide and create a pattern whose significance remains elusive. I had just…
How Maggie took her whisky
The whirligig of time brings in his… astonishments. Who would have thought it? Even a couple of decades ago, the…
Spectator Competition: Lines on the leaves
In Competition 3374 you were invited to write an ode to autumn. There was bathos amid the beauty. I regret…
My run-in with Greta Thunderpants
The anger management counsellor stormed through the door and shouted at me to turn the heating up. Hello to you…
