It is hard to think of a less dignified individual for the critical role of representing Australian interests around the world than Anthony Albanese. To say that he has the sophistication and wit of a sixteen-year-old yobbo out on the sauce with his mates the night after the school formal is an understatement. In four years, we have seen nothing from the Prime Minister that could be filed under ‘diplomat’, ‘dignitary’ or ‘luminary’. Quite the opposite.

If ever a public figure came close to emulating the humility, charm and good manners of Barry Humphries’ brilliant Sir Les Patterson, Albo is surely that man. But at least Sir Les had a wicked sense of humour to go along with all his crassness. Albo struggles to even get the crude innuendo right.

Bob Hawke was, of course, our great larrikin prime minister. He brought to the role a history of heavy drinking, womanising and colourful turns of phrase. But, even though it was a different era back then, ‘Hawkie’ still understood the difference between being a knockabout lad and a serious international political figure. ‘Albo’, sadly, stumbles around never achieving coolness, and never offering gravitas. Where Bob Hawke had a mischievous twinkle in the eye, Anthony Albanese has the cold eyes of the dreary socialist bureaucrat. Where Mr Hawke engaged and entertained, Mr Albanese makes his audience cringe and squirm with embarrassment. Where Bob was effortlessly charming and self-deprecating, Anthony is gormless and petulant.

Donald Trump is viewed by those on the left, and by many on the right, as boorish and uncouth. But the American president is a gentleman of urbane sophistication compared to the Australian Prime Minister. Mr Trump’s Pearl Harbour gag, in which he quipped to Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi that the Japanese had always been good at surprises, may have raised eyebrows in Tokyo, but at least it was funny. Mr Albanese’s attempts to impress his podcast host with a lewd sense of humour and juvenile gags about shagging Kylie Minogue and the Japanese PM smuggling in her two beautiful melons – accompanied by schoolboy hand gestures – was not only vulgar but lame in the extreme.

Nor did it go unnoticed. ‘The last thing [Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi] expected was to be so casually mocked by the trusted leader of Japan’s special strategic partner,’ complained former Japanese ambassador to Australia Shingo Yamagami. Indeed, he and others in Japan have reported that the crass comments have been widely reported and are deeply offensive. This would not be of any surprise to anyone who understands the Asian concept of ‘face’, respect, and the importance of language and gestures.

Mr Yamagami also said the remarks had led to the Japanese erecting a ‘facade’ in their relationship with Australia, and that the comments demonstrated an ‘appalling’ ignorance of what the gift represented – the fruit is highly prized – and how carefully it had been selected and nurtured. On top of which, to add insult to injury, Mr Albanese’s joke that the melons had been ‘smuggled in’ has also been poorly received, understandably given Australia’s well-known fruit quarantine regulations.

But the pathetic gags also reveal much about the personality of our Prime Minister. Firstly, that he is a shallow and insecure man who desperately craves the approval of the ‘cool kids’. This constant need to be ‘in with the In-Crowd’, as Bryan Ferry famously put it, led to the PM participating in such a stupid podcast to begin with. But  when it comes to lousy judgment he has form, having eagerly appeared on podcasts run by some fairly vile individuals.

For the young undergraduate student socialist Anthony Albanese, the cool kids of the 1980s and 1990s were the pro-Palestine, vehemently anti-Israel and anti-America, pro-environmentalism, anti-uranium, pro-China crowd. Australians would do well to ask themselves how many of Labor’s policies are crafted specifically to appeal to ‘cool’ hard left ideologues?

Secondly, it is clear that Albo has no understanding of the art of subtly projecting power and influence. It would never occur to him that things he says or does, even minor off-the-cuff comments, may have a major impact on businesses, small and large, and overseas markets.

These insults may yet blow up in Mr Albanese’s face. Especially if we are looking to Japan for assistance in some future dispute – trade or otherwise – with China.

Thirdly, and most importantly, the Prime Minister’s continuing denial that he did anything wrong and his stubborn refusal to apologise for his juvenile, misogynistic and sexist behaviour, supported by his entire female cabinet, shows just how fake the constant moral posturing from Labor (and the Greens, Teals and the ABC) really is. It most certainly isn’t the Coalition that has a ‘problem with women’.

It’s the Prime Minister.