We all know that the Silicon Valley tech bros are a little detached from reality, but the advent of AI has brought with it a new wave of delusion: AI psychosis.

The symptoms, while wide and varied, include an obsession with trying to ram AI into every aspect of one’s existence.

Chief among those to be diagnosed with the affliction is Mr AI himself, Sam Altman, who last week posted on X about his next great use case for ChatGPT:

‘Cool use case of ChatGPT … connect your family calendars and explain your kids’ interests. Every morning for the drive to school, have it make a podcast that talks about one kid’s soccer game that afternoon, one kid’s upcoming birthday, some news, etc.’

Right. Because nothing bonds a family quite like a robot voice reading out your children’s lives to them.

If you ask me, outsourcing the car conversations with your kids sits firmly in the ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’ category of use cases for AI.

Thankfully, the comments reflected the repulsion I suspect most normal people would have in response to such a depressing suggestion:

‘Nothing like AI to outsource knowing your own kids,’ wrote one user.

‘Can we please get some normal people running these tech companies?’ replied another.

And my favourite:

‘What if you just talked to your children,’ came from Alex Hirsch, the creator of the popular cartoon Gravity Falls.

It seems these Silicon Valley species have forgotten that not everything in life is about achieving an outcome as efficiently as possible.

Another example came recently from the founder of an AI startup, who posted on X (and was of course reshared by Altman):

‘Went on a 4-hour hike yesterday through the Northern California redwoods…’

Okay, this is much better. Hiking is a great way to touch some grass and get away from it all.

‘Managed to get more work done in those 4 hours talking to [ChatGPT] Voice than I do in 8 hours at my desk… Work can be done from ANYWHERE now.’

Wait, hold up.

You think being able to spend your entire hike talking to ChatGPT instead of enjoying the peace and serenity is something to brag about? They are entitled to their opinion, of course, but so am I.

Until now, I didn’t think there was a way to hike incorrectly, but this seems very close.

Thankfully, the coverage I get in regional Victoria means I will never have to fight the urge to talk to Claude during my hike.

Elon Musk is, of course, another example of someone who you occasionally suspect may not even be human.

We all remember him talking up the idea in 2024, when he said his Optimus robots could eventually ‘be a teacher, babysit your kids, it can walk your dog, mow your lawn, get the groceries, just be your friend’.

Forgive me if I don’t love the idea of my children forming a paternal bond with their robot teacher, who also, apparently, mows the lawn.

And I’ll have you know, while I’m not a dog person myself, I do understand that one of the primary reasons people get dogs is precisely so they can walk them.

Nor am I keen to be chauffeured around by a driverless car. If you don’t mind, Waymo, I rather enjoy the act of driving.

It probably shouldn’t surprise me.

These are also the people who seem to think humanity’s books, music, and art are merely raw material to be scraped, ingested, and optimised.

The spectacular failure of Mark Zuckerberg’s Metaverse should have been a useful warning that people don’t necessarily want every part of their lives turned into a digital experience.

At this rate we’re going to end up in a WALL-E-style future of abundance, where everything is automated and every minor inconvenience has been eliminated.

I’ll spend my days confined to a floating chair, sucking on my Buy n Large nutrient goo cup while an army of robots does everything else for me – only to realise too late that doing things for myself was part of what made life worth living.

All this AI psychosis is causing me to despair. I think it’s time I took a hike for some fresh air.