Flat White

And they’re off…

11 April 2019

9:10 AM

11 April 2019

9:10 AM

Our exclusive campaign insider writes:

In the morning mist of the world’s epicentre, the balloon has gone up. Election 19 is underway.

For all those triggered by the thought of a single-use balloon having been released into the rarefied atmosphere of pristine Canberra be assured it is a reusable and recyclable balloon employed by our woke Governors General every three years.

Yes, the election is finally happening. But how will the plebs decide how to mark their ballot papers? That’s where CBD enters the field with a deep analysis to help us wade through the avalanche of promises by people anxious to spend your money.

Now politics and the associated elites love their TLA’s (three letter acronyms) to assert their self-determined intellectual superiority.

In similar vein (or should that be vain?) CBD is the acronym for Canberra Bubble Dweller. Sometimes somewhat unkindly referred to as Canberra Bottom Dweller – you decide!

Election 19 will be different nauseatingly different with a nest of pretend independents who used to be pretend Liberals or more likely just plain old Labor stooges. Think Silly Zali, Bonkers Banks, not to mention Floppy Phelps. So CBD is here to clear the path through the jungle.

Let’s be clear the main race will be between SM and BS … abbreviations for Semi-Malcolm and, well, BS.

Both were about to start the race in their virtue signalling coal-fired electric cars renouncing CO2 emitting jets and Comcars.

Lured into a false sense of security BS was buckled up, skid lid firmly affixed ready to tackle the track. Meanwhile, SM to the chagrin of the Mal-discontents jumped horses or cars into a fossil-fuelled car and is off to a convincing start. Poor BS is still in the pits wondering how he could’ve misread eight minutes for eight hours to charge the battery. On the upside, it gives BS the opportunity to raise another $55,000 over a Chinese meal.

When the car is finally charged will BS’s co-driver, the hapless Chris Bowen, put the car into a negative gear?

Your next insightful analysis and instalment tomorrow.

CBD will be contributing regularly throughout the campaign. 

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