Flat White

The Gospel according to Lady Gaga

24 January 2019

4:32 PM

24 January 2019

4:32 PM

Theologians come in all sorts of strange packages nowadays. No more bearded old guys in stuffy booklined offices it seems. Instead, they now strut their stuff onstage half naked to the delight of starstruck crowds of screaming young people. I especially highlight one of our newest theologians and experts in biblical studies: Lady Gaga.

You may have heard her theological exposition as she berated the Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence, and his wife. It seems the VPOTUS committed a major sin in having a wife who has dared to return to a Christian college in Virginia to teach art part-time.

What is especially abhorrent is that this Christian college has the nerve to actually uphold and proclaim Christian teaching on issues like marriage, family and human sexuality. As a result – and so very predictably – all hell broke out with the mainstream media. For these activities, the couple has now been put on a par with Genghis Khan, Jack the Ripper, and an assortment of various axe murderers.

As but one example, The New York Times quickly jumped all over the story. It even managed to include this especially nasty factoid: it seems that the students from this college will be going on a field trip to the Creation Museum in Kentucky next month!

Wow, what a barbaric school this must be: it not only upholds biblical teachings on marriage and family, but also believes that the world was created by God. How dare they! Never mind that several recently elected Islamic congresswomen in the US have been thinking and acting just like Muslims. Not a peep out of the MSM about that.

It is just fine if Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar swear in on a Koran, denounce Israel, promote sharia, and castigate Pence’s faith. No probs there. But woe betide these uppity Christians who actually live according to their own faith tradition in the public arena. Let’s just lynch them already!

Strange, but we don’t find the MSM routinely attacking Muslim schools for pushing Muslim beliefs and practices. But if a Christian school dares to do this, they are obviously about to bring democracy crashing down, and they must be opposed all costs.

Now if this was the end of the story it would be bad enough. But things have just ratcheted up a few notches with outraged celebs now getting into the act. And one of the most bizarre rants heard thus far comes from one pillar of morality, rationality and Christianity, Lady Gaga.

She has fully weighed in on this kerfuffle, making some rather extraordinary claims, implying that the Pences are the worst Christians around while she is evidently the best Christian there is! She said this:


“To Mike Pence, who thinks that it’s acceptable that his wife works at a school that bans LGBTQ, you’re wrong. You’re the worst representation of what it means to be a Christian. I am a Christian woman, and what I do know about Christianity is that we bear no prejudice, and everybody is welcome. So you can take all that disgrace, Mr Pence, and look yourself in the mirror and you’ll find it right there.”

Wow. So a routinely sleazy, debauched, and raunchy singer is now trying to pass herself off as a terrific Christian and a paragon of virtue while telling us that the Pences are evil personified, and must be in association with the Antichrist. Yep, sure, makes sense to me.

Um, why do I suspect that the chances are pretty good that she has actually never even read the Bible, let alone studied it carefully? She certainly knows nothing about historic Christian beliefs and teachings. Not that I mean to be picking on her, as there would be plenty of other folks just like her who also think they know plenty about Christianity when in fact they know next to nothing.

But let me try to unpack what Lady G said. First, consider her claim about the “worst representation” of Christianity by Pence. I would have thought that anyone claiming to be a Christian who seeks to faithfully adhere to the teachings of Christ and the Bible is an ideal representation of Christianity.

On the other hand, those who deliberately and blatantly reject the teachings of Scripture on human sexuality and everything else are certainly NOT a good representative of Christianity.

And what about her claims as to what Christianity is all about: “we bear no prejudice, and everybody is welcome.” Oh really? I would like to see chapter and verse on that one. The term “prejudice” is of course just one of many words routinely pulled out of the hat by secularists and lefties.

That, and “bigot” and “hater” and “this- and that-phobe”. Such terms really tell us nothing, but they give the person tossing them around a sense of moral superiority – especially when they have no facts or evidence to back up their position.

So she thinks the Pences are prejudiced. Um, Lady G is obviously prejudiced. She has an irrational and nasty dislike of and aversion to all people who take their Christian faith seriously and seek to live according to the clear teachings of the Word of God.

And when a Christian seeks to do just that, he or she is not being prejudiced. They are simply acting consistently with their own worldview. They are trying to live out their basic biblical teachings. That does not make them prejudiced or bigoted. But if it does, it is not any more than Gaga is by hating on such people.

And of course, she is being quite selective and unwelcoming here. She clearly is selective in who she befriends, who she likes, and who she hangs around with. It is obvious that she is NOT a friend of the Pences, she does not like them, and she does not at all wish to hang around with them. She is being just as prejudiced, narrow-minded and bigoted as she accuses them of being.

And when it comes to human sexuality, it is not prejudice to affirm heterosexual marriage. Biologically the human male is designed to match up with the human female. That is how the next generation is produced, and that is the best family structure in which to raise any such offspring.

That has been the common-sense position of nearly everyone for millennia. Sure, all that is now being thrown overboard, but that is clearly for the worse, not the better. If the Lady is happy to see marriage and family destroyed, that is up to her.

But having her try to lecture real Christians about what Christianity is all about is a bit like having Hitler lecture us about what real love for Jews is all about. Sorry, but your credibility is zilch here Lady. Unfortunately, however, millions of brainless millennials may be gobbling up her every word.

That is the real concern. That Lady Gaga is theologically out to lunch on all this is certain, but the fact that she may be leading so many others astray is serious business. It seems Jesus had some strong words to say about those very sorts of people – something about millstones, being cast into the sea, and all that.

Bill Muehlenberg is a Melbourne cultural commentator.

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