“I’m the Sheik of Araby,
Your love belongs to me.
At night when you’re asleep
Into your tent, I’ll creep.
The stars that shine above,
Will light our way to love.
You’ll rule this land with me…”

Harry B. Smith/Harry Bache Smith/Ted Snyder/Francis Wheeler © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Mohammad bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, or MBS, the 33-year-old crown prince of Saudi Arabia – the only country in the world named after the ruling family – is standing knee deep in camel shite.

And that’s because Donald Trump (Blessings Be Upon Him) has sprung the playboy clown prince apprentice for being so stupidly caught with buckets of blood dripping from his cashmere-cleansed digits following the brutal murder and dismemberment of dissident Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi in Istanbul on 2 October.

Trump isn’t buying the myopic MBS (Mr Bone Saw) bleating that the man who runs the biggest tent in the Middle East didn’t have a clue his carefully-planned Khashoggi hit was bungled by his hit squad’s Monty-Pythonesque application of the two Monty Python principles of logic and etymology.

They are: 1) Invalid logical arguments, coupled with: 2) Playful misunderstanding of the physical world, and what some sentences/words mean.

According to Middle East Eye, seven of the fifteen men suspected of killing Khashoggi are members of Mohammed bin Salman’s personal bodyguard. But MBS denies any knowledge of the hit. And MBS is an honourable man.

Trump doesn’t believe him, but – for the moment – his Daddy does…

On Saturday, King Salman effectively exonerated the crown prince by granting him new powers over the country’s intelligence bodies, to pair with his sweeping authority over Saudi Arabia’s economy and defence.

But what’s interesting about the next King/Caliph of Saudi Arabia (his father is also Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques) is that the presumptive heir chooses to live on his secure superyacht anchored in the Red Sea rather than the ‎Al Saud Palace in Riyadh.

Built by Italian shipyard Fincantieri in 2011 for Russian Stoli vodka tycoon Yuri Shefler, Serene is one of the world’s 10 largest with an overall length of 133.9 m and a beam of 18.5 m.

Serene has seven decks, a hangar and two helicopter landing pads. The vessel also features a large sea-water swimming pool which can accommodate service craft and a submarine with a diving depth of up to 100 metres. There are 4,500 square metres of interior space including 2,700 square metres of super-luxury accommodation crewed by 52 eunuchs.

Terence Maher is a former editor of The Melbourne Times

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