Etiquette
Dear Mary: How can I keep my retiring husband out of the house?
Q. For ten years, I have made a reasonable freelance income working from home. During this time my husband has…
Dear Mary: How I can I avoid being invited to any more country house weekends?
Q. Someone I was at university with but hadn’t seen much of over the ten years since invited me to…
Dear Mary
Q. When sending wedding invitations, does one put the full titles on the card, or can one just put, for…
Dear Mary: What can I do to make couples split the bill fairly?
Q. I’m a single bloke now and for various reasons don’t foresee any change to that status. I have moved…
Dear Mary: When is it all right not to bring something to a dinner party?
Q. A wonderful and generous woman invites me, on a regular basis, to dinner parties at her house. What is…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my elderly host making the bed?
Q. I have regularly stayed with a hospitable friend in London but now hesitate to invite myself. She is seventy-something…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour pacing the ceiling?
Q. The woman who lives above me has insomnia and walks around all night. I’m also disturbed by her rather…
How to stop being scared of full stops
Modern manners and the fear of the full stop
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends staying after a 21st?
Q. A neighbour is hosting a party for his daughter’s 21st birthday. Adequate provision has been made for anyone who…
Dear Mary: Someone told me their extraordinary life story, but I tuned the whole thing out
Q. After a recent dinner I found myself on a two-seater sofa enjoying the restful company of a woman who…
Dear Mary: How will Joan Collins introduce herself now she’s a dame?
Q. We enjoyed the Christmas University Challenge series featuring mature graduates, some of whom were more in the public eye than…
Dear Mary: What can I do about my neighbours’ downmarket recycling?
Q. Since recycling was introduced in our village, the wall at the end of our drive has become the depositing…
Dear Mary solves problems for Jim Broadbent, N.M. Gwynne, Jesse Norman and others
Once again Mary has invited some of her favourite figures in the public eye to submit personal queries for her…
Dear Mary: Do I really have to take my shoes off indoors?
Q. There has been a marked increase in the number of people who have pristine flooring and are so keen…
Richard Madeley’s diary: Forgetting Tom Conti’s name, and other harrowing experiences
Oh God, it’s happened again. Another evening where I’m surrounded by people I know personally or have interviewed, and I…
Dear Mary: How to talk to friends whose book you haven’t read
Q. What is the correct thing to say to a writer friend whose book you haven’t read? I buy most…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my future son-in-law saying ‘must of’
Q. My future son-in-law has been successfully house-trained in the use of upper-middle-class English over the years that he has…
Dear Mary: Is there a tactful way to shorten the guest list for my 21st?
Q. I am organising my 21st birthday party at our family house in Italy. It is a fantastic location, but…
Dear Mary: Learning to love a man who whistles through his nose
Q. What can you do when disorganised friends say they would love to come to a concert with you but…
Dear Mary: Can I run out on an apprenticeship for my dream interview?
Q. I have been trying to get an apprenticeship in fashion for over a year without success. I just had…
Dear Mary: Is it an insult to be given anti-ageing cream?
Q. When someone gives you anti-ageing cream as a present, is that an insult or a compliment? — A.O., Provence…
Dear Mary: Show me the tactful way to pay for a lift
Q. My neighbour is really lovely and always helps me chainsaw trees. He used to be the herdsman at the…
Dear Mary: What do we do with a teenage guest who hogs the bathroom?
Q. We have taken a flat in Edinburgh for a month and a young girl, temporarily homeless and a friend…
Dear Mary: Help me hunt down my priceless missing book
Q. A scholarly book of great importance to me appears to have gone missing from my library. It was heavily…
Dear Mary: How to accept wine refills at parties without getting drunk
Q. At a drinks or a dinner party, when very attentive waiters are hovering, I tend to let them keep…
