Real life

Hostage drama at the village hairdresser

10 December 2022 9:00 am

‘Then I got taken hostage in Iran,’ said the lady sitting next to me in the hairdresser’s as she was…

Why you should ask to see your pet’s medical notes

26 November 2022 9:00 am

‘Notice from your vets’ said the email subject. I clicked and there was a letter telling me that my vet…

I have been locked out of my pension

12 November 2022 9:00 am

With only five to ten more years to work out how to log in to my pension plan I need…

My battle with British Gas

29 October 2022 9:00 am

By the time I got through to someone at British Gas to complain about them holding £491 of my money…

Wanted: a trap for a happy mouse

22 October 2022 9:00 am

‘Excuse me, I’m looking for something to catch a mouse that won’t cause it any distress,’ said the young chap…

Me and the builder boyfriend are going to go without hot water

15 October 2022 9:00 am

‘I’d like my money back please’ was what I was waiting to tell British Gas, if they ever stopped the…

British Gas has turned the builder boyfriend into a socialist

8 October 2022 9:00 am

A cleverly worded email has arrived from British Gas to explain why, despite the Prime Minister’s announcement, my gas and…

AA only admits the right sort of alcoholics

1 October 2022 9:00 am

The support group groupies have issued another ban. They have attempted to slap an exclusion order on another long-standing member,…

I just can’t face one more argument with anyone, ever again

24 September 2022 9:00 am

The cyclist was on the wrong side of the road coming towards me head-on. It was a winding country lane…

The ugly side of AA

17 September 2022 9:00 am

A lot has been going wrong lately in the support group I’ve been attending for more than 20 years. I…

The death of customer service

10 September 2022 9:00 am

The ladies in the bank now wear badges telling you to Be Kind and not do anything that might upset…

My mare has had a ‘misalliance’ with a pint-sized stallion

3 September 2022 9:00 am

My favourite vet came to see Darcy and immediately put his finger on the problem. Dusk was falling when he…

I can trace all our problems back to Frankie Dettori

27 August 2022 9:00 am

‘If you think about it, Frankie Dettori is to blame,’ said the builder boyfriend, because when things are really bad…

My farmhouse nightmare

20 August 2022 9:00 am

From the veranda of a small Irish farmhouse, I looked out over the sun-drenched West Cork peninsula. All I could…

There is nothing speedy about speedy boarding

13 August 2022 9:00 am

When my black passport arrived in the post, I decided to take a trip. I’m not a good flier, so…

Everything’s burned to a crisp – and the horses are suffering

6 August 2022 9:00 am

Everything is well and truly burned to a crisp, and we are piling through hundreds of pounds of hay a…

The Lycra louts are back

30 July 2022 9:00 am

‘That will be £7.50 please,’ said the girl in the bakery to the cyclist in black Lycra after he put…

Why farming needs Ben Wallace

23 July 2022 9:00 am

My phone buzzed and rang while I was doing the horses until I thought, fine, I’ll call the Defence Secretary…

The builder and I are done with Surrey

16 July 2022 9:00 am

As he grouted the last tile, five years after the bathroom was finished, I knew the game was up. ‘I…

A boiler service, spaghetti western-style

9 July 2022 9:00 am

The British Gas engineers arrived in convoy, and the dust from their tyres flew into the air as they came…

How I got one over on the chat bot

2 July 2022 9:00 am

‘Your service contract has been completed,’ said someone or something from British Gas, in the chat box on its website.…

Rewilding will kill Waitrose

25 June 2022 9:00 am

‘Do you care about the woodland? Do you care about the wildlife?’ shouted the bearded Woodland Trust volunteer from his…