Real life
The problem with posh dog food
Having loaded the last sack of working dog food in Surrey into my car, I slammed the trolley back into…
How I incurred the wrath of my iPhone
As I sat down to dinner in a lovely old country pub my reservation was cancelled by my iPhone, which…
Maybe the village will be sad to see us go after all
‘You certainly gave us a run for our money,’ said the village elder, serving us with what appeared to be…
The Co-op can keep its no claims discount
When I received an email from the Co-op telling me they had made a mistake with my car insurance, and…
Canine manners have gone to the dogs
‘Do you want me to put my dog on the lead?’ shouted the woman on her phone, as she came…
If I told my new friend the truth, our friendship would be over
‘Achoo!’ was the first thing the girl sitting next to me on the plane said as I took my seat…
My rodent house guest has a Benadryl habit
The mouse has been eating his way through the medicine cabinet to the extent that I am really quite frightened…
The BB wants to put my dream farm on a skip
‘Have you got your passport? Your phone? Your wallet?’ The builder boyfriend patted his pockets and told me not to…
I have found heaven in West Cork
A bay mare was standing over a foal curled up sleeping at her feet. Yawning and struggling to keep her…
How not to conduct a house viewing
The lady standing on the doorstep did not need to tell me what she thought of my house, because the…
Why do people assume I am posh?
If we cram any more doctors into our spare rooms we can put a sign outside advertising NHS accommodation. We…
The vegans have landed in West Cork
After a day’s house-hunting in West Cork, I texted the builder boyfriend to say that we were too late. The…
How to outsmart a mouse
‘Mr Mouse’s days of fine dining are over,’ said the builder boyfriend as he put the finishing touches to his…
Power-crazed zealots have taken over Surrey AA
‘What’s Bill W. got to do with it?’ said one of the committee members to the others as they discussed…
My pony has an astonishing digestive system
The pony grabbed the bag of carrots and ran across the field with it in her mouth, tail in the…
The builder boyfriend is no figment of my imagination
The lady who walks her dog past my horses every day was obviously eager to tell me something. I have…
The rise of the village poo-painters
After they banned horses from the village green and surrounding common land, I set about trying to find out why,…
The case against a cashless society
‘We don’t take cash,’ said the boy behind the counter in Pret after I tried to hand him a £5…
The limits of left-wing inclusivity
When we put the house on the market, my environmentally conscious neighbours disappeared on a holiday so long I asked…
My eight-year campaign to cancel my mobile phone contract
The man in the phone shop greeted me with what I presume is a look specifically designed and reserved for…
Real life
Driving through the road widening works at junction ten, I noticed a horse being ridden down a muddy passageway that…
