Real life
The left-wing lunacy of Tooting Honey Toilets
‘Sadly, the world is filled with apathy,’ said my friend, as we looked at our sad little list of conscripts…
Real life
‘Sadly, the world is filled with apathy,’ said my friend, as we looked at our sad little list of conscripts…
My part-time boyfriend and I bonded over the Tooting Honey Toilets
A boyfriend’s for life, not just for Christmas. It’s no good me getting myself a nice cuddly man with whom…
My part-time boyfriend and I bonded over the Tooting Honey Toilets
A boyfriend’s for life, not just for Christmas. It’s no good me getting myself a nice cuddly man with whom…
Here’s the worst that can happen when you go on a date
Go on, they said. Go on a date. Let your friend fix you up with a nice eligible man. Nothing…
Real life
Go on, they said. Go on a date. Let your friend fix you up with a nice eligible man. Nothing…
The sabs hate us because we’re patriotic, top-rate tax-paying, law-abiding scum
‘You lot are a disgrace! Chasing after defenceless animals on horseback!’ The bearded anti was on his mountain bike on…
The sabs hate us because we’re patriotic, top-rate tax-paying, law-abiding scum
‘You lot are a disgrace! Chasing after defenceless animals on horseback!’ The bearded anti was on his mountain bike on…
Don’t get on the Clapham omnibus; you might never get off
I got on a bus. Well, I wasn’t to know, was I? I just saw a bus stop by the…
Real life
I got on a bus. Well, I wasn’t to know, was I? I just saw a bus stop by the…
They shoot horses, don’t they?
By the time you read this I will have delivered my long-awaited speech to the World Horse Welfare annual conference…
Real life
By the time you read this I will have delivered my long-awaited speech to the World Horse Welfare annual conference…
Puppy parents’ evening — or money for old rope
A letter has arrived summoning me to parents’ evening to discuss Cydney’s progress. Yes, I am aware that Cydney is…
Real life
A letter has arrived summoning me to parents’ evening to discuss Cydney’s progress. Yes, I am aware that Cydney is…
Real life
‘This is a two Voltarol day,’ I thought, as I popped another pill and settled into the bath after Darcy’s…
If there were bones sticking out, I’m out — midlife crisis or no midlife crisis
‘This is a two Voltarol day,’ I thought, as I popped another pill and settled into the bath after Darcy’s…
Sabs don’t want to stop fox-hunting; they never did
Devotee of the old ways though I am, I can just about understand why a misguided animal lover might oppose…
Sabs don’t want to stop fox-hunting; they never did
Devotee of the old ways though I am, I can just about understand why a misguided animal lover might oppose…
From Darcy's first gallop, I was addicted to speed
The young lad behind the counter of the betting shop looked at me askance. ‘This horse is 200–1.’ ‘Yes. I…
Whoosh! I was addicted from the first gallop to the heavenly, godlike, immortal speed
The young lad behind the counter of the betting shop looked at me askance. ‘This horse is 200–1.’ ‘Yes. I…
I rode my own racehorse and was changed for ever
‘The last owner who tried to ride his own horse got tanked,’ said the trainer, looking up at me as…
I rode my own racehorse and was changed for ever
‘The last owner who tried to ride his own horse got tanked,’ said the trainer, looking up at me as…
My nights with Hollywood film stars may be far behind me
At least two insurances are going to have to go, as I grapple with fear of penury, I have decided.…
Real life
At least two insurances are going to have to go, as I grapple with fear of penury, I have decided.…
Balham is about as close as you get, in 2015, to the 1950s
After pulling out of my flat sale and U-turning on the idea of moving to the Cotswolds, it took me…
