Melissa Kite

Real life

22 July 2017 9:00 am

Two months after I cancelled Sky, a strange letter arrived in the post. ‘We are writing to you because we…

Real life

15 July 2017 9:00 am

‘What do you think it means?’ I asked the builder boyfriend as we stood in front of the sign. A…

Real life

8 July 2017 9:00 am

Last night, I had dinner at the M25 services. I don’t mean I stopped for a break mid-journey. I mean…

Real life

1 July 2017 9:00 am

Since moving to my dream home in the country a month ago, I’ve only had to fight a parking dispute,…

Real life

24 June 2017 9:00 am

All had gone suspiciously quiet down our little track on the village green, and we had begun to think we…

Real life

17 June 2017 9:00 am

And so, as it must, the pilgrimage to find a local GP surgery begins. This is a great British tradition,…

Real life

10 June 2017 9:00 am

‘I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake with my council tax,’ I said to the lady at Guildford Borough Council. ‘Right,’…

Real life

3 June 2017 9:00 am

‘You’re probably excited about your new service and keen to start using it as soon as you can,’ said the…

Real life

27 May 2017 9:00 am

After spending the day unblocking the gutters and drains in the pouring rain, he wasn’t in the mood for a…

Real life

20 May 2017 9:00 am

The builder boyfriend has dug himself a hole. I don’t mean he’s in trouble with me. I mean he has…

Real life

13 May 2017 9:00 am

Well, there were seven of us in this chain, so it was a bit crowded, to paraphrase a princess. We…

Real life

6 May 2017 9:00 am

A gentleman on Twitter ‘writes’ to say I’m boring him with my house move. ‘Snooze-fest’, says this chap, and he…

Real life

29 April 2017 9:00 am

With so many last-straw moments to choose from in my house-moving experience, it is a close call to pick the…

Real life

22 April 2017 9:00 am

Goodbye then, Bal-ham. You were my gateway to the south. I loved you for so many more reasons than that,…

Real life

14 April 2017 11:00 pm

Some people get into the choosing of tap fittings. I am not a person who gets into the choosing of…

Real life

8 April 2017 9:00 am

‘Information,’ came the reply. ‘We want information.’ The voice echoed in my head. Oh no. Oh please God, no. A…

Real life

1 April 2017 9:00 am

Of all the many indignities I have suffered at the hands of my iPhone, the humiliation that sickens me the…

Real life

25 March 2017 9:00 am

‘Mesdames et messieurs, allow me to introduce you to your meals,’ said the waiter. Oh lordy, I thought. Here we…

Real life

18 March 2017 9:00 am

Someone has given the builder boyfriend an iPhone and things will never be the same. Until now, he has always…

Real life

11 March 2017 9:00 am

If it takes any longer to find a buyer for my London flat I am going to start coming to…

Real life

9 March 2017 3:00 pm

If it takes any longer to find a buyer for my London flat I am going to start coming to…

Real life

4 March 2017 9:00 am

Shoot me if I ever let slip I’ve been mucking out with rubber gloves and a dustpan and brush. As…

Real life

2 March 2017 3:00 pm

Shoot me if I ever let slip I’ve been mucking out with rubber gloves and a dustpan and brush. As…

Real life

23 February 2017 3:00 pm

Unexpectedly re-available is a very good phrase. I have often seen it applied to house advertisements and thought how fabulously…

Real life

23 February 2017 3:00 pm

Unexpectedly re-available is a very good phrase. I have often seen it applied to house advertisements and thought how fabulously…