Real life

Real life

23 June 2016 2:00 am

The cottage in Surrey has fallen through, for the time being at least. Maybe I am going to be a…

Real life

16 June 2016 1:00 pm

‘This EU passport is an outrage. I want a British one!’ Not my words, Cydney’s. The spaniel is coming round…

Real life

9 June 2016 1:00 pm

Would you like a Labour party manifesto with your breakfast?’ the tattooed, multi-pierced waitress might as well have asked as…

The grass may have been tasty but it landed me in A&E

4 June 2016 9:00 am

Turns out you can’t eat grass. A horse does something clever to it in its mouth that humans can’t. Fine,…

Real life

2 June 2016 1:00 pm

Turns out you can’t eat grass. A horse does something clever to it in its mouth that humans can’t. Fine,…

What on earth was the girl from Taiwan doing in my bedroom?

28 May 2016 9:00 am

After a tense two week stand-off, the Balham Airbnb Crisis has been resolved. My upstairs neighbour and I have drawn…

Real life

26 May 2016 1:00 pm

After a tense two week stand-off, the Balham Airbnb Crisis has been resolved. My upstairs neighbour and I have drawn…

I am handmaiden to a foul-mouthed member of the royal family

21 May 2016 9:00 am

Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…

Real life

19 May 2016 1:00 pm

Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…

Why menopausal women need guide dogs

14 May 2016 9:00 am

Hello, Cydney spaniel here. She’s lying in a darkened room so I’m to tell you what happened. To cut a…

Real life

12 May 2016 1:00 pm

Hello, Cydney spaniel here. She’s lying in a darkened room so I’m to tell you what happened. To cut a…

Welcome to the only house left in south-east England that hasn’t been chavved up

7 May 2016 9:00 am

Buffy Sainte-Marie said it best. ‘The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars./ And…

Real life

5 May 2016 1:00 pm

Buffy Sainte-Marie said it best. ‘The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars./ And…

The gloves are off with the Brothers Turnthetapoff upstairs

30 April 2016 9:00 am

The gloves are off in my battle with the two brothers who live in the flat upstairs. They have just…

Real life

28 April 2016 1:00 pm

The gloves are off in my battle with the two brothers who live in the flat upstairs. They have just…

The cottage of my dreams was proving a nightmare to buy

23 April 2016 9:00 am

The cottage of my dreams (or possibly worst nightmares) proved rather difficult to purchase, not least because the agent selling…

Real life

21 April 2016 1:00 pm

The cottage of my dreams (or possibly worst nightmares) proved rather difficult to purchase, not least because the agent selling…

I am the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb

16 April 2016 9:00 am

I am becoming the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb. Almost everything that tormented Basil has tormented me since I started taking…

Real life

14 April 2016 1:00 pm

I am becoming the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb. Almost everything that tormented Basil has tormented me since I started taking…

Penury dictates that I find more lucrative work — but I can’t afford to

9 April 2016 9:00 am

My adventures in penury land me with two job applications on my screen, one for MI6, one for Sainsbury’s. Do…

Real life

7 April 2016 1:00 pm

My adventures in penury land me with two job applications on my screen, one for MI6, one for Sainsbury’s. Do…

I knew my reasonably priced car insurance couldn’t last

2 April 2016 9:00 am

After a year of affordable car insurance, I knew I had to be in for it when my premium came…

Real life

31 March 2016 2:00 pm

After a year of affordable car insurance, I knew I had to be in for it when my premium came…

I am keeping the vet in work all on my own

26 March 2016 9:00 am

If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…

Real life

23 March 2016 3:00 pm

If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…