Real life
Real life
The cottage in Surrey has fallen through, for the time being at least. Maybe I am going to be a…
Real life
‘This EU passport is an outrage. I want a British one!’ Not my words, Cydney’s. The spaniel is coming round…
Real life
Would you like a Labour party manifesto with your breakfast?’ the tattooed, multi-pierced waitress might as well have asked as…
The grass may have been tasty but it landed me in A&E
Turns out you can’t eat grass. A horse does something clever to it in its mouth that humans can’t. Fine,…
Real life
Turns out you can’t eat grass. A horse does something clever to it in its mouth that humans can’t. Fine,…
What on earth was the girl from Taiwan doing in my bedroom?
After a tense two week stand-off, the Balham Airbnb Crisis has been resolved. My upstairs neighbour and I have drawn…
Real life
After a tense two week stand-off, the Balham Airbnb Crisis has been resolved. My upstairs neighbour and I have drawn…
I am handmaiden to a foul-mouthed member of the royal family
Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…
Real life
Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…
Why menopausal women need guide dogs
Hello, Cydney spaniel here. She’s lying in a darkened room so I’m to tell you what happened. To cut a…
Real life
Hello, Cydney spaniel here. She’s lying in a darkened room so I’m to tell you what happened. To cut a…
Welcome to the only house left in south-east England that hasn’t been chavved up
Buffy Sainte-Marie said it best. ‘The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars./ And…
Real life
Buffy Sainte-Marie said it best. ‘The lights of town are at my back, my heart is full of stars./ And…
The gloves are off with the Brothers Turnthetapoff upstairs
The gloves are off in my battle with the two brothers who live in the flat upstairs. They have just…
Real life
The gloves are off in my battle with the two brothers who live in the flat upstairs. They have just…
The cottage of my dreams was proving a nightmare to buy
The cottage of my dreams (or possibly worst nightmares) proved rather difficult to purchase, not least because the agent selling…
Real life
The cottage of my dreams (or possibly worst nightmares) proved rather difficult to purchase, not least because the agent selling…
I am the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb
I am becoming the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb. Almost everything that tormented Basil has tormented me since I started taking…
Real life
I am becoming the Basil Fawlty of Airbnb. Almost everything that tormented Basil has tormented me since I started taking…
Penury dictates that I find more lucrative work — but I can’t afford to
My adventures in penury land me with two job applications on my screen, one for MI6, one for Sainsbury’s. Do…
Real life
My adventures in penury land me with two job applications on my screen, one for MI6, one for Sainsbury’s. Do…
I knew my reasonably priced car insurance couldn’t last
After a year of affordable car insurance, I knew I had to be in for it when my premium came…
Real life
After a year of affordable car insurance, I knew I had to be in for it when my premium came…
I am keeping the vet in work all on my own
If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…
Real life
If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…