Life
Why I am hanging up my crystal ball
Gstaad I caught a whiff of it as it rolled in from the east, the smell of hypocrisy being different…
My Burns Night haircut
At three o’clock I took half a bottle of Glenmorangie with me to Jimmy’s. That it was Burns Night, and…
Hell is a dental hygienist
‘Please, could you just clean my teeth?’ I want to say, only I don’t. I go along with it, praying…
Everyone is talking about the little girl from Devon
If there hasn’t yet been a hurricane called Bryony there should be. The impact of Bryony Frost, just 22, this…
Bridge
I have just returned from the annual pilgrimage to Reykjavik, home of one of the best tournaments of the year.…
Hypnosis?
Various champions have been accused of hypnotising their opponents, including Alexander Alekhine, Mikhail Tal and, not least, the reigning world…
no. 491
White to play. This position is from Goriatchkin-Bosiocic, Gibraltar 2018. How did White finish off? Answers to me at The…
Presidential patter
In Competition No. 3033 you were invited to take as your first line ‘I am the very model of a…
2344: I’m away
A word suggested by the title can either precede or follow each of the unclued lights to form phrases listed…
to 2341: Durum, durum
The unclued lights are varieties of PASTA. First prize J Cookson, Cheltenham, GloucestershireRunners-up Margaret Shiels, Edinburgh; D King, Leeds Got…
My dislike of Blue Peter made me into the man I am today
When I tell my children about my own childhood, they often express disbelief about how wretched it was. No Xbox?…
The Battle for Britain
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Let’s face it: the Presidents Club was on to something
There exist in the annals of salesmanship certain ideas that are both highly immoral and wickedly clever. Before P. T.…
Dear Mary: I keep needing the loo during formal dinner parties – help!
Q. My wife and I have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of some impressive…
Tasting the true island spirit: single malts from the Isle of Arran
Arran, in the Firth of Clyde, is an island whose charms vary with the seasons. In summer, the hills are…
How did the same word come to describe the activities of stable lads and sexual predators?
Grooming is a horrible phenomenon of modern life when it happens to abused children. Yet a magazine such as GQ…
Taki: What I learned when I tried to join the CIA
Before his untimely death last year, David Tang had attended a Pug’s club luncheon with the proviso that no one…
Two documentaries have made me determined to visit America’s Deep South before I die
‘ESTA refused,’ said the email from the official website of the US Department of Homeland Security. Franklin Roosevelt once said…
Are vets the new transgenders?
The vet who is unhappy that I cracked a joke about vets has received the backing of the British Veterinary…
Bridge
As Janet said last week, the recent European Open trials made for compulsive viewing. Ten pairs took part; first and…
Frankenchess
A remarkable event took place in London towards the end of last year, when the AlphaZero computer program took on…
no. 490
White to play. This position is from Ivanchuk-Lafuente, Gibraltar 2011. White now terminated proceedings abruptly. What was the key move?…
Documentary
In Competition No. 3032 you were invited to provide a poem about passports. While the news that British passports…
2343: Rats!
Round the perimeter clockwise is a 14-word quotation in ODQ, with its first word represented by a number in the…
to 2340: Booboos
Amongst the many ‘aphorisms’ of Yogi Berra, the New York Yankees baseball manager, were ‘The future ain’t what it used…
