Jeremy Clarke

Jeremy Clarke writes the The Spectator Low Life column.

Whisky and striptease: stories from an old people’s home

24 January 2020 10:00 pm

For the last four years of her long life, this upstairs room and this magnificent sea view belonged to Mrs…

War has broken out between me and my siblings

18 January 2020 9:00 am

Last night I watched a boxed set. Parade’s End is a small box set as box sets go, and quite…

The death of my desert-island fantasy

11 January 2020 9:00 am

I was on the back seat of a golf buggy being driven down to the marina from my beachside villa…

A young Rwandan scholar left a profound impression on me

21 December 2019 9:00 am

In the Rwandan Genocide Memorial gift shop I bought a handy Kinyarwanda–Kiswahili–English phrase book. The tipping point in the decision…

Smoking opium with Mr Nazim – and a gecko

14 December 2019 9:00 am

‘I used to go to India for a few months every year. A couple of times we even drove there.…

Hell is an expat dinner party

7 December 2019 9:00 am

I just don’t understand it. Emigrating from Britain to France is a big step. Shifting from one culture to another…

When Brexiter meets Catalexiter

30 November 2019 9:00 am

After the hostel breakfast, I stood on the tropical grass lawn smoking the first fag of the day and mulled…

The lessons I learned cycling across Rwanda

23 November 2019 9:00 am

The backmarker of the peloton was Eric, a tall, stick-thin Rwandan. Under his cycling helmet he wore a baseball cap…

The joy of a Rwandan airport

16 November 2019 9:00 am

Our plane touched down in Rwanda at 7 p.m. Stepping outside on to the metal steps, I smelt that unmistakable…

My image of the young Jeremy Corbyn is not a flattering one

9 November 2019 9:00 am

I found the stone and the key underneath and let myself into the cottage — brr! I immediately made a…

[Photo: John Heseltine / Alamy Stock Photo]

My journey to the heart of prehistoric England

2 November 2019 9:00 am

‘Can I get a taxi around here?’ The man standing behind the counter of the convenience store looked at the…

Friedrich Nietzche [Photo: Roger-Viollet/Shutterstock]

The divine comedy of Friedrich Nietzsche

26 October 2019 9:00 am

I’ve come back to the empty house for the second time in the six weeks since my mother died. The…

The truth behind those Airbnb snaps

19 October 2019 9:00 am

Catriona and I had agreed that a terrace for smoking, eating, drinking and painting was a necessity rather than a…

What had the chambermaid made of my penis vacuum pump?

12 October 2019 9:00 am

Fumbling outside my door in dripping swimming trunks for my room key, I was hailed cheerily by the maid from…

Will mindfulness turn me into a Remainer?

5 October 2019 9:00 am

Mindfulness at our all-inclusive Turkish beach resort began at 11 o’clock. Our mindfulness teacher was a tiny, smiley, flexible-looking woman…

Why Sodom and south Devon are a million miles apart

28 September 2019 9:00 am

We gathered around in the sunshine and watched the coffin being lowered into the freshly dug trench. Stratifications visible on…

[Photo: Lovattpics]

Semi-recluse (me) seeks dilapidated cottage on Dartmoor to rent

21 September 2019 9:00 am

So now I must find somewhere else to put my books and live sometimes. Dartmoor, I thought: one of the…

The woman laid out in the coffin in front of us wasn’t Mum

14 September 2019 9:00 am

The receptionist with brown lipstick showed my son and me into a faultless waiting room, whose centrepiece was a big…

The mysterious ways of the French

7 September 2019 9:00 am

These new tablets that will save or at least prolong my life have unpredictable side effects which only now, a…

Catriona’s accident has made of us minor celebrities in the village

31 August 2019 9:00 am

Three weeks ago Catriona was going to the village shop when a building site security fence fell on her. Wire…

How Captain Mainwaring lightened my mother’s dying days

24 August 2019 9:00 am

On Saturday evening I showered, shaved and, prompted by a strange impulse, put on my going-out clothes. Then I cycled…

Within 24 hours of my positive diagnosis I was back with Catriona in beautiful Brignoles (illustration, 1873)

A day spent in Oncology

17 August 2019 9:00 am

A 20-minute drive through quiet country lanes then suddenly a madcap roundabout and teeming new ring road and finally the…

Credit: mingazitdinov

Do I have cancer in my left eye?

10 August 2019 9:00 am

My luck had to run out one of these fine days. Everybody’s does sooner or later. I’ve had a fantastic…

Dartmoor Prison: nice setting, but only for a visit

A trip to Dartmoor Prison with my grandson and his cousin

3 August 2019 9:00 am

My grandson Oscar (nine) shares a bedroom with his cousin Lucas (eight) and sits next to him at school. Before…

Evelyn Waugh sat for Henry Lamb in his Poole studio in 1928. We went to the pub where Waugh wrote Decline and Fall – interesting!

A literary lunch that hits an unforeseen buffer

27 July 2019 9:00 am

‘So what are your plans?’ said our gentle, civilised Airbnb host over a tray of tea and cake to welcome…