Spectator competition winners: the pleasures of bad poetry
In Competition No. 3167 you were invited to submit a rhymed poem that is leadenly prosaic in tone and content.…
Spectator competition winners: poems in praise of naked cyclists
In Competition No. 3166 you were invited to supply a poem either celebrating or lamenting the cancellation of Philadelphia’s annual…
Spectator competition winners: Would you give Anne Boleyn a job?
In Competition No. 3165 you were invited to supply a job reference for a well-known public figure, past or present,…
Spectator competition winners: patchwork poetry
In Competition No. 3164 you were invited to submit a poem in which each line comes from a different well-known…
Paradise Lost in four lines
In Competition No. 3163 you were invited to submit well-known poems encapsulated in four lines. Now that the internet has…
Tutti-bam! Frutti-boom! Musical double dactyls
In Competition No. 3162 you were invited to submit double dactyls on stars of popular or classical music. Fans of…
Spectator competition winners: Keatsian sonnets
In Competition No. 3161 you were invited to supply a sonnet with certain rhyme words to be used in a…
Spectator competition winners: killer short stories
In Competition No. 3160 you were invited to supply a short story whose opening sentence is ‘I have no idea…
Spectator competition winners: Poems without the letter ‘e’
In Competition No. 3159 you were invited to supply a poem that does not contain the letter ‘e’. This fiendish…
Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer meets Spock
In Competition No. 3158 you were invited to supply an extract describing a well-known fictional detective who finds themselves catapulted…
T.S. Eliot goes to Glastonbury
In Competition No. 3157 you were invited to describe a visit to Glastonbury or Glyndebourne in the style of an…
Poems about schadenfreude
In Competition No. 3156 you were invited to supply a piece of verse or prose on the subject of schadenfreude,…
Poems about picnics
In Competition No. 3155 you were invited to supply a poem entitled ‘The Picnic’. This challenge was prompted by a…
‘Merrie sing Rishi!’: variations on ‘Sumer is icumen in’
In Competition No. 3154 you were invited to supply your own variations on the medieval round ‘Sumer is icumen in’.…
‘Your guts will form a stinky pool’: Roald Dahl explains Covid-19 to children
In Competition No. 3153 you were invited to recruit a well-known children’s writer to explain Covid-19 to their young audience.…
The pleasure and pain of staycations
In Competition No. 3152 you were invited to supply a poem about the joys — or otherwise — of the…
Famous writers get to grips with DIY
In Competition No. 3151 you were invited to imagine famous authors reflecting on their struggles with DIY. Highlights in a…
Herculean sonnets
In Competition No. 3150 you were invited to submit a sonnet describing one of the labours of Hercules. This challenge…
‘Around the House in 80 Days’ and other titles for lockdown
In Competition No. 3149 you were invited to tweak an existing book or poem title for lockdown and provide an…
Authors making sneaky appearances in their own novels
In Competition No. 3148 you were asked to imagine what the result might have been had a well-known writer slipped…
How famous writers do social isolation
In Competition No. 3147 you were invited to submit tips on social isolation in the style of a well-known writer.…
Spectator competition winners: poems about the goats of Llandudno
In Competition No. 3146 you were invited to submit a poem about the goats of Llandudno, who recently ran amok…
Competition winners: Clerihews on Spectator contributors
In Competition No. 3145, to mark the 10,000th issue of The Spectator, you were invited to submit clerihews (two couplets,…
Spectator competition winners: Pangrams in six lines
In Competition No. 3144 you were invited to submit a poem, six lines at most, containing all the letters of…
Spectator competition winners: Love in the Time of Covid-19
In Competition No. 3143, a nod to García Márquez’s 1985 novel, you were invited to submit a short story entitled…
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