Life
Why I have fallen out of love with Donald Trump
Here we are, 41 years down the road, and I’m once again writing for The Spectator’s Christmas issue. This is…
Why you should never read your own diary
At the turn of the century, I started a diary. I’ve mostly typed it on old typewriters, bashing out a…
How Ebenezer Grayling destroyed the Kite family Christmas
Ebenezer Grayling sat busy in his counting house. It was a cold, bleak day at the Department for Transport. Big…
Me vs an eight-foot spitting cobra
Laikipia, Kenya ‘The End,’ I typed. The book that had taken me 14 years to write. I rose from…
‘Concussion doesn’t count’: memories of a racing dynasty
The Scudamores are one of the bedrock families of jump racing. After being shot down and spending two years as…
Bridge
The other day, I opened a Christmas card showing Santa carrying a sack full of presents, and was immediately reminded…
Christmas quiz
You don’t say In 2018, who said: 1. ‘I have the absolute power to PARDON myself, but why should I…
Word of the year: shouty
‘Remind me what incel means again,’ said my husband. There was no point, since he’d forgotten twice already. I suspected…
Leviathan
Last week I compared the Norwegian world chess champion Magnus Carlsen to a lurking crocodile, ready to grab its oblivious…
Puzzle
White to play. This is a variation from Carlsen-Caruana, World Championship (Game 11), London 2018. Carlsen set a small trap…
O come let us adore zhim
In Competition No. 3078 you were invited to submit a politically correct Christmas carol. One of Donald Trump’s election…
Christmas spirit
Unclued lights (six of two words, one of three), correctly linked, make ten members of a seasonal set, one light…
to 2386: Outside what we know
ROUND THE HORNE (32/40/37) starred 6/37, 6/23, 1A, 14 and 8/13. The title suggested their other comedy show, Beyond Our Ken.…
Why the end of 2018 is also the end of a sporting era
It may be the end of the year but it’s also the end of some major sporting eras. Alastair Cook…
The Battle for Britain
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How to lose more friends and alienate more people
This used to be the busiest time of the year for me. If you do anything in public life —…
This is capitalism as its most gaudy: Fortnum & Mason reviewed
I admit I had a falling out with Fortnum & Mason a few years ago over its new brasserie on…
The most underpriced Christmas gift you can buy
During the second Gulf war, simply out of curiosity, I found myself visiting the website of a giant American mercenary…
In the midst of Brexit agony, one thing remains certain: disputation needs drink
It is enough to drive a fellow to the bottle. I am not given to agnosticism. My view is that…
Problems solved for Michael Fabricant, Liz Truss, Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley, Anthony Horowitz and others
From Michael Fabricant MPQ. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked…
New York: the fact – and fiction
New York At times I used to think the place was real. The New York of films, that is. The…
We lost our elderly, dementing French charge
I entered the cave house carrying groceries and panting from the climb to find an old hippie woman displaying rugs…
My Christmas tree health-and-safety nightmare
Decorating a tree on the unfinished minstrels’ gallery was an appealing idea if only for the health and safety violations.…
How 250 cows may have changed the course of racing
It may yet turn out that the most significant development in racing this year was the sale of some 250…
Bridge
This is my last column before Christmas (I know… I’ll miss you too) and as 2018 rolls to an end…
