Can a chef teach me to cook over Zoom?
We cannot bear more drive-through or take-out or near-fatal snack. I am convinced of the boredom of my female ancestors,…
More drug than nutrient: KFC drive-through reviewed
Drive-through restaurants were invented so Americans could spend more time in their cars. I don’t blame them. American cars are…
Repulsive, depraved and oddly political: Monster Munch crisps reviewed
Now that I have considered Monster Munch I decide to eat one mindfully. I put it in my mouth, and…
The horror of socially distanced restaurants
What does a critic do when her genre collapses? Mostly I panic. I speak to restaurateurs who believe that without…
Hope in a takeaway bag: Mackerel Sky reviewed
You don’t dine in the age of pandemic: you scuttle about in the wreckage. If you can afford food, and…
Fare game: life as The Spectator’s restaurant critic
A fictional Spectator restaurant critic called Forbes McAllister appeared on Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge. He was played…
Much of it is pointless, but that only adds to its charm: Fortnum & Mason hampers reviewed
Stop the clocks: Fortnum & Mason is still delivering hampers. I am not surprised, because this shop — or rather…
There’s nothing romantic about Cornish fishermen, whatever tales they may spin
Lamorna Ash came to the fishing port of Newlyn in south-west Cornwall to write a memoir. This is not unusual.…
The Cornish revolt against second-home owners
Second-home owners are not welcome in times of pandemic
Dining in the time of pandemic: takeaways reviewed
I love eating while watching bad films like Battleship, so I love takeaway food from local restaurants. I am not…
How I became Miss World 1970
‘Miss World 1970’ is the rather glorious title that Jennifer Hosten won. That was the year that the contest, then…
A tax on intellectuals: Terrace Cafe at the British Library reviewed
The British Library is the national library of the United Kingdom, and it sits like a red-brick crab on the…
‘I feel compelled to be disgraceful’: Miriam Margolyes interviewed
Miriam Margolyes chews the fat with Tanya Gold about mother love, anti-Zionism and too much shagging
I have always liked angry food: Ugly Butterfly reviewed
Ugly Butterfly is a zero-waste restaurant and champagne bar on the King’s Road, Chelsea. The ‘champagne bar’ addition is so…
Criminally good food: The Yard at Great Scotland Yard reviewed
The Yard is a defiantly themed restaurant in Hyatt’s new Great Scotland Yard Hotel, an Edwardian red-brick block which once…
The food is almost too superb: Wild Honey reviewed
Wild Honey is a ludicrous name for this restaurant: there is nothing wild about it, and I do not think…
The Michelin Guide’s tiresome sustainability award
The Michelin Red Guide is a marketing device to sell tyres by selling pastries. The guide was invented in 1900…
Fairy food for fairy wives: Julie’s Restaurant reviewed
Julie’s is a 50-year-old restaurant in Holland Park, London, newly emerged from three years of closure as plushly renovated as…
This food needs a little less grandeur, and a little more love: Simpson’s in the Strand reviewed
Simpson’s in the Strand stopped serving breakfast in 2017, after it had been renovated to stop it smelling of cabbage.…
Sumptuous, remote – and forgettable: Locket’s reviewed
Locket’s is a new café from the owners of Wiltons in Jermyn Street. Wiltons is the restaurant that dukes visit…
Nauseating, but I like the garlic bread: Legoland Windsor reviewed
The theme music to Legoland in Berkshire is the theme music to The Exorcist. It appears from speakers hidden in…
Back in the Babington Triangle: Roth Bar & Grill reviewed
The Roth Bar & Grill exists on an art-farm called Durslade in Bruton, Somerset, which is also the country outpost…
‘Utterly betrayed’: Britain’s Jews are now politically homeless
We Jews have evolved to be neurotic; so neurotic that, in certain circumstances, the Syrian border feels slightly safer than…
Stringfellows for the sex robot age: Bob Bob Cité reviewed
Bob Bob Cité is a restaurant dangling like testicles from the underside of the Leadenhall Building in the City of…
An enemy of the people? Or an above-average sandwich chain? Pret A Manger reviewed
The sandwich restaurant Pret A Manger is accused of harbouring centrists. Those are words I never thought I would type,…
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