Food
Punishment stocks
Welcome to the sunlit uplands which, for me, contain small plastic tubs of stock, which is just the opening to…
Unhampered pleasure
There is straw inside the Fortnum & Mason Christmas Treat Hamper (£100). As the straw drifts through the house, it…
Roots of happiness
Turnips is an haute cuisine restaurant inside a greengrocer in Borough Market in London. I suspect others will try this…
Me, myself and Thai
Lockdown is hurting everyone except the chickens. I have bought them a conservatory because Philippa, a Light Sussex, looks like…
Bass notes
It’s a good day to stab something and tear out its heart. Elaine Lorys is the only female master fishmonger…
Ivy league
Oxford is not an easy city to homogenise; but that doesn’t mean you can’t try. I found a vast shopping…
Rich pickings
Pity the gilded restaurants of Mayfair, if you can: they are dying. Some have reopened; they ache on like men…
Soho: home of the brave
London is gasping — so where to go but Soho, which is so good at despair? It is often necrotic…
A flash of life
A ghost review, now, of a ghost restaurant: the Connaught Grill, which is yet to reopen after pandemic shuttered its…
Steak at stake
Pandemic has brought many truths, the most minor of which is: I can’t cook steak. I thought I could. I…
Great Dane
Snaps + Rye is a Nordic-themed restaurant and delicatessen on the Golborne Road, at the shabby and thrilling edges of…
Bringing Sexy back
Sexy Fish is an Asian fusion barn in Berkeley Square, near the car dealerships and the nightingales, if they are…
Comfort eating
Brasserie Zédel is a grand salon under Piccadilly Circus and the only place I desired when lockdown (or lock-in) ceased…
I’ve resorted to cooking
We cannot bear more drive-through or take-out or near-fatal snack. I am convinced of the boredom of my female ancestors,…
A wing – and a prayer
Drive-through restaurants were invented so Americans could spend more time in their cars. I don’t blame them. American cars are…
Crunch time
Now that I have considered Monster Munch I decide to eat one mindfully. I put it in my mouth, and…
Only the worst will survive
What does a critic do when her genre collapses? Mostly I panic. I speak to restaurateurs who believe that without…
Hope in a takeaway bag
You don’t dine in the age of pandemic: you scuttle about in the wreckage. If you can afford food, and…
Fare game
A fictional Spectator restaurant critic called Forbes McAllister appeared on Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge. He was played…
Eating Easter
Stop the clocks: Fortnum & Mason is still delivering hampers. I am not surprised, because this shop — or rather…
A tale of two takeaways
I love eating while watching bad films like Battleship, so I love takeaway food from local restaurants. I am not…
Dry cake in a red-brick crab
The British Library is the national library of the United Kingdom, and it sits like a red-brick crab on the…
What waste!
Ugly Butterfly is a zero-waste restaurant and champagne bar on the King’s Road, Chelsea. The ‘champagne bar’ addition is so…
Criminally good
The Yard is a defiantly themed restaurant in Hyatt’s new Great Scotland Yard Hotel, an Edwardian red-brick block which once…
A taste of Wild Honey
Wild Honey is a ludicrous name for this restaurant: there is nothing wild about it, and I do not think…
