Food

Is the Dorchester the designated grand hotel for fat people? The portions at its new grill say so

7 March 2015 9:00 am

The Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, is a cake floating in space. All grand hotels create a parallel universe in which…

Going large on Park Lane

5 March 2015 3:00 pm

The Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, is a cake floating in space. All grand hotels create a parallel universe in which…

Rowleys is Did Mummy Love Me Really? food – and it’s perfect

21 February 2015 9:00 am

I think Rowley’s is the perfect restaurant; but I am really a gay man. Rowley’s is at 113 Jermyn Street…

Beyond the Wall’s

19 February 2015 3:00 pm

I think Rowley’s is the perfect restaurant; but I am really a gay man. Rowley’s is at 113 Jermyn Street…

Rivea: a London annexe to the world’s maddest expensive restaurant

7 February 2015 9:00 am

Rivea (stupid name) is in the bowels of Bulgari in Knightsbridge, a hotel which looks like a vast Virgin Upper…

Poor little rich meals

5 February 2015 3:00 pm

Rivea (stupid name) is in the bowels of Bulgari in Knightsbridge, a hotel which looks like a vast Virgin Upper…

Quaglino’s, the vampire brasserie

24 January 2015 9:00 am

Quaglino’s is an ancient subterranean brasserie in St James’s, a district clinging to the 18th century with cadaverous fingers. It…

In Dracula’s local

22 January 2015 3:00 pm

Quaglino’s is an ancient subterranean brasserie in St James’s, a district clinging to the 18th century with cadaverous fingers. It…

The real reason there’s a queue outside the Cereal Killer Café

10 January 2015 9:00 am

The Cereal Killer Café is a temple to cereal on Brick Lane, east London. It serves only cereal — and also…

Sugar rush

8 January 2015 3:00 pm

The Cereal Killer Café is a temple to cereal on Brick Lane, east London. It serves only cereal — and also…

The most preposterous restaurant to have opened in London this year

13 December 2014 9:00 am

Somerset House, a handsome Georgian palace on the Thames, was once the office of the Inland Revenue, and the courtyard was…

Smock and awe

11 December 2014 3:00 pm

Somerset House, a handsome Georgian palace on the Thames, was once the office of the Inland Revenue, and the courtyard was…

The hotels trying to turn Cornwall into Kensington

29 November 2014 9:00 am

Mousehole is a charming name; it is almost a charming place. It is a fishing village on Mount’s Bay, Cornwall,…

Cornish and pasty

27 November 2014 3:00 pm

Mousehole is a charming name; it is almost a charming place. It is a fishing village on Mount’s Bay, Cornwall,…

A buffet in an Egyptian tomb

15 November 2014 9:00 am

Atlantico is a vast buffet inside the Lopesan Costa Meloneras Resort Spa and Casino in Gran Canaria. The Lopesan Costa…

Station to station

13 November 2014 3:00 pm

Atlantico is a vast buffet inside the Lopesan Costa Meloneras Resort Spa and Casino in Gran Canaria. The Lopesan Costa…

Want to shake hands with your dinner? Beast is your kind of restaurant

1 November 2014 9:00 am

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke…

Dining with death

30 October 2014 3:00 pm

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke…

Gymkhana is morally disgusting – and fortunately the food’s disgusting too

18 October 2014 9:00 am

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian…

Colonial cringe

16 October 2014 2:00 pm

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian…

Today’s Disney princesses look like Russian mafia wives. This is their café

4 October 2014 9:00 am

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods…

Disney matter

2 October 2014 1:00 pm

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods…

Rextail: a restaurant for billionaire children

20 September 2014 9:00 am

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant…

My little plutocrat

18 September 2014 1:00 pm

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant…

Fischer’s is like visiting Vienna without having to go to Austria (thank God)

6 September 2014 9:00 am

Fischer’s is Austria made safe for liberals, gays, Jews and other Untermenschen riffraff, because it is a restaurant, not a…