Flat White

Why I’m dressing as Daniel Andrews this Halloween

13 October 2020

7:30 PM

13 October 2020

7:30 PM

Halloween is the greatest moral dilemma facing Western Civilisation. 

What started out as a bit of fun involving spooks and candy nicked from the Celtics, has mutated into an offence smorgasbord. Unless you identify as Justin Trudeau, the wrong outfit could end your career in addition to your dignity. 

Remember, before climate change and Covid, there was cultural appropriation. Look, I wanted to go as Lara Croft, but #GamerGate has made strong female protagonists more dangerous than a press conference with Peta Credlin. Plus, I don’t have the thighs for it. 

Instead, I’m thinking for Halloween I might dress up as Daniel Andrews. 

All I need is a North Face jacket, a six-hour manifesto, Brett Sutton, and a few volunteers to play sex-crazed security guards. 

Trick or treat? 

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