Flat White

Whatever happens to those poor, unwanted gonads down Danandrewstan way?

30 July 2019

3:48 PM

30 July 2019

3:48 PM

It was a small piece in the paper last weekend. You may have missed it as that is what happens to small pieces and the article was about small pieces. The particular pieces being referred to were the penis and testicles of transgender women who no longer want to acknowledge the existence of these pieces but demand their rights to have previously exclusively female pubic cosmetic salons attend to the unsightly hair that comes with this landscape.

The story followed on from what has happened in Canada where a transgender woman has targeted 16 beauticians on anti-discrimination grounds because they didn’t want to handle her penis or testicles.

So wouldn’t you know it, Victoria, the State government that gets everything wrong, has put up a law that could see women who are there to assist in lingerie departments or work at exclusively female ‘personal cosmetic’ salons accused of discrimination if they don’t accept that the presence of a penis and testicles is counter-indicative to being female. This is, of course, against the current campaigning that you are whatever sex you want to be or, as the Victorian Attorney-General Jill Hennessy puts it “everyone deserves to live the life they choose”, and the hell with biological design and chromosomes.

Furthermore, this self-belief in changed sexual status according to the bill being proposed requires just a statutory declaration on whether one is feeling male or female today and – wait for it – that you can change your birth sex every 12 months in keeping with whether you are feeling girly or blokey. So why shouldn’t a ‘transitioning male’ get a young woman to tidy-up these now unwanted pieces and get a Brazilian?

My thoughts immediately went to the women tasked with this. Perhaps not what they were expecting to be faced with at work that day? Has their job description changed? Why wouldn’t the authorities support their rights to be artisans of the female mons pubis and not the penis and scrotum? Why couldn’t these transgender humans buy their own wax strips and do this in the privacy of their own homes?

Then my thoughts turned to the male gonads that were no longer wanted or loved. What it must be like to be left hanging around (so to speak) with little purpose or meaning. How had they become such a disappointment to the body they were attached to physically but not emotionally? Hadn’t they been up to the job? Had they not delivered on their various goods and services? Why weren’t they a pleasure to be enjoyed? It wasn’t that long ago they were celebrated in art, sculpture, various erections including those of the built variety…and even loved. Some were even credited with intelligence as in “He thinks with his dick”. And now this! They were nothing more than obstacles in the way of a depilatory service.

And in spite of all of the insults to these bits and pieces, the testicles were still at hard at work on their biologically assigned jobs such as creating sperm and testosterone while the penis was now reduced to just hosing out urine. It was a simple and good design that had worked well for many species for many millions of years. In fact, these species wouldn’t exist if these bits and pieces hadn’t worked well. And, just maybe, they were in charge of that other organ, the brain, to which they sent messages delivered by their testosterone. Could they now be telling the brains of these transgender humans that what would make everyone very happy is the deft light touch of a female hand? Could they be directing/pointing their bodies to the nearest Brazilian Beauty Bar as that is where they are sure to find this?

The train of thoughts continues to the active removal of such unwanted testicles and penises and what is done with them. Many years ago when working at a major hospital I used to look at the huge chimney smoking away and wonder at what body parts were being incinerated. There would have been amputated limbs, various benign or malignant growths and diseased organs.

Now there will be perfectly healthy testicles and penises added to the furnace. Do they get a commemorative service of any kind I wonder or are they just treated as nuisances in an out-of-sight /out-of-mind sort of way? Then I realised that some of these sacrificed penises and testicles will be quite young. These will have hardly been tried out or exercised before being deliberately discarded as not being what is wanted. Once again this will be in Victoria. But what if the brain changes its mind later on and yearns for what is lost as other amputees grieve for their missing limbs or women for babies not born. Then this will become a much bigger story that is yet to be told.

In a state faced with a waste disposal catastrophe perhaps it is time to rethink what should or should not be disposed of, of what is a whole lot of trash and what should be treasured – even if for later use.

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