Flat White

CBD: how dare opinion polls disrupt the landslide narrative?

29 April 2019

5:51 PM

29 April 2019

5:51 PM

Our perspicacious political insider writes exclusively:

While toiling a full six-hour day to ensure BS becomes PM the pressure is building on CBD. CBD has never worked so hard. And the glimmers of hope are few and far between these days. So anything is grasped, as did CBD with the Tasmanian Governor’s ANZAC Day speech glorifying PC rather than those who sacrificed for our wellbeing. CBD delights in such sentiment shift even if it is contained within a tight group of people within a particularly tight radius.

Now another glimmer with Bonkers Banks preferencing the GULAG over Greg Hunt in Flinders, such a brave decision confirming her true Liberal credentials and dispelling any suggestion Bonkers is a mere puppet of the GULAG (GetUp, Labor and the Greens). CBD particularly admires Bonkers display of the leadership characteristics GULAG supporters appreciate. What a true hero she is!

Having been dragged out of complete obscurity courtesy of the Liberal Party volunteers and Greg Hunt’s generous electorate’s support with $20,000 for her campaign for Chisholm in 2016 Bonkers is now displaying the integrity so essentially part of GULAG. Not only is Bonkers switching seats. She has done so to take on her benefactor Greg Hunt in Flinders. And just to put any question of integrity to rest Bonkers is now preferencing against Greg in favour of GULAG. A true Liberal much admired by MT and Julie Bishop. A true Liberal with integrity writ large. CBD regrets the rarity of such outstanding Liberals. Even MT is turning saying SM is doing a good job. Just because he is doing a good job is no reason to say so. One can only hope the Turnbull fortune will continue to be deployed in the GULAG cause despite a very unfortunate slip of the tongue.

Another lift was delivered to CBD with the inspired dental announcement by BS. $1000 of free dental care! Before the hard right start asking with such predictability “where is the money coming from?” we know the answer courtesy of GULAG Gough who way back in 1975 observed governments can print money. So let’s have none of this talk about taxpayers having to foot the bill. Oh Gough! Such a genius whose reign was cut so cruelly short. Only one down side to the policy…. Collingwood games won’t be the same.

Armed with these exciting developments CBD trusts AOQC for Kooyong will remain firm on his stand about FMG (another three letter acronym for female genital mutilation). Trust the hard right to dig out AOQC’s culturally sensitive discourse on FGM and twist it. His comments on FGM are completely consistent with feminist and women’s rights ideology of GULAG. The man deserves praise. Just because it is illegal is irrelevant. So is doing drugs. As BS’s First Lady Sally McManus says, “If you don’t like the law you break the law”. (CBD didn’t find this legal argument very helpful or finding favour with the Bench during a recent court appearance on a drug charge, even in Canberra, mind you.)

All these exciting developments were pumping up CBD’s tyres only to have them punctured in the rudest possible manner with the latest opinion polls showing SM gaining more ground.

The leadership stakes inexplicably has SM way in front. SM won the “most impressed” stakes and was way behind in the unimpressed stakes. This business of giving people a say not only on Election Day, but beforehand through opinion polls jeopardises the CBD’s community inspired guidance of our wellbeing.

If people come to the view that the treatment of SM and the hard right by the ABC, The Project and other GULAG supporters is not reflective of the people’s views they may start questioning the settled political science about disappearing poles…. oops that should be polls.

CBD fears it will be a long three weeks to May 18.

CBD will be contributing regularly throughout the campaign.

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