Babies

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Is that pounds or euros?’

Pounds

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Speciality of the hospital — weekend death by chocolate.’

Nurse

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Thank heavens, it’s just a drunken stag. I thought the Tory party were on board.’

Plane

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Do you think a 10ft high wall will keep Donald Trump out?’

Mexicans

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Can you make yourself scarce tonight? I might be bringing back a lady friend.’

Scarce

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘She’s annoyed because I don’t tweet.’

Tweet

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Grr! The internet hasn’t even noticed that I’ve taken a break from it!’

Sofa

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Roman

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘They don’t feed them, but still they come.’

Pigeons

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Camper

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘…and here’s a shot of the dolphins refusing to swim with him.’

Photos

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Until we dug down for the pool and gym we had no idea how close we were to the Central Line.’

Pool

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Just say no!’

Cameron

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Breakfast McMuffin at Tiffany’s

Breakfast

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Fancy a leap in the dark?’

Bed

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Referendum

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Boris, Trump… politics has never been so exciting.’

Cans

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Careful — those books aren’t balanced!

Careful

20 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Nice drumsticks!’

Drumsticks

20 February 2016 9:00 am

‘They say that 70 is the new 50.’

Police

20 February 2016 9:00 am

‘This is the youth section.’

Library

20 February 2016 9:00 am

Doll

20 February 2016 9:00 am

‘It’s not me! He’s the one that’s obsessed with breasts!’

Strip

20 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Sorry — I’m saving myself for the right Pope.’

Kiss

20 February 2016 9:00 am