Life
Spectator Competition: what day is it?
For Comp 3419 you were invited to write a poem to mark National Vodka Day (4 October) or another spurious…
To win, the Tories should be the party of motorists
The path to electoral success at the next election is straightforward. Just follow what I call the Channel 5 strategy.…
Nutrition is a bogus creed
Time to think about my diet. A test kit arrives from the NHS screening team who want to inspect a…
The search for a Kenyan Stonehenge
Cradle of Mankind Paleoanthropologists tried to kill me a few days ago. Luckily I was saved by Max Mutkin, a…
Dear Mary: do my AirPods make me look like an imbecile?
Q. My printer is broken, so I asked my neighbour to print off a letter for me. It was from…
Bacon and egg pie, the perfect throw-it-together, please-the-whole-family dish
There are a handful of elements that make me nervous about tackling particular classic recipes. First, if it’s a dish…
Why are vegans so philosophically confused?
The solar panel fitter was eating his fried breakfast when the talkative vegans came into the kitchen. They surveyed his…
Aussie life
Legislation for a statewide treaty with indigenous Australians should never have made it to the steps of the Victorian parliament,…
Language
Harvey writes from West Australia about the Native Title Act and asks for the meaning of this word ‘native’. Well,…
A Mayfair brasserie for people who work, or at least pretend to: 74 Duke reviewed
There is an immaculate brasserie called 74 Duke at 74 Duke Street, Mayfair: this is postcode etymology. Duke Street runs…
The hypocrisy of the limousine liberals
You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at all the Hollywood celebrities rending their garments about…
Dear Mary: How do I find out if my handsome bathroom salesman is single?
Q. A decade ago I commissioned a handmade velvet opera coat from a fabulous local designer. She was then struggling…
There’s nothing quite like the Ryder Cup
It’s never been easy to warm to golfers, an overpaid, self-obsessed bunch who rarely fail to ask for more. And…
Spectator Competition: Trivial pursuits
For Competition 3418 you were invited to provide a pompous leading article on a trivial subject. The ubiquity of ‘Hi’…
Where was everyone at Newbury?
The West Wing scriptwriter Aaron Sorkin had it about right when he said that so long as you keep one…
The curse of room three
The singer sped past me out of the gate, sending me flying as I tried to say goodbye. We’ve been…
