Life
Spectator Competition: Seeing the light
For Competition 3415 you were invited to submit a lost poem by a well-known poet which makes us see him…
Confessions of a yo-yo fat-jabber
I’m feeling quite smug at the moment. Every year I vow to get in shape in the summer, which means…
Whatever happened to chicken à la king?
As sure as eggs is eggs, what was once comfort food will be reinvented as fine dining. Lancashire hotpots will…
Welcome to the Republic of Dyslexia
Kenya It used to be that the black sheep from prominent British families were sent out to Kenya and told…
My B&B guests keep stealing my books
‘Please do NOT wash up!’ reads the makeshift sign I have fixed above the kitchen sink. It instructs our B&B…
A tale of two Martins
Provence The canicule broke yesterday, heralding the end of high summer. Wild figs and mulberries litter the path, filling the…
A fictional Edwardian waif’s hungry fantasy: Fortnum & Mason’s food hall reviewed
I like a picnic weighted with history and class terror, which means Fortnum & Mason on Piccadilly, which is historical…
Death was easier when I was a kid
Somebody dies and his friends say ‘he passed’. Passed what? He didn’t pass. He failed. He took the most basic…
QPR’s downward spiral
Charlie, my 17-year-old son, was hopeful about QPR’s chances this season. True, we managed to avoid relegation only by the…
Dear Mary: How do I get a Lycra-wearing cyclist to dress for drinks?
Q. A good friend often cycles over when I invite him for drinks. The trouble is he insists on turning…
Good riddance to the traditional sports bar
They used to be places that reeked of testosterone, sweat and male egos, their floors sticky with lager spilled by…
What should you call a ‘boy cow’ and a ‘lady dog’?
‘That’s a boy cow,’ said a woman in the train to a little girl, adding in an aside to an…
Being a jockey is a tough ride
It has been quite some year for jockey-churning, the latest example being the mid-season decision by owner-breeder Imad Al Sagar…
The high price of a free breakfast
‘Do you want the good news or the bad news about the Germans?’ I asked, and then I offered a…
Spectator Competition: Ad it up
For Competition 3414 you were invited to provide an extract from a well-known literary work rewritten to include appropriate product…
