Food

Can a chef teach me to cook over Zoom?

4 July 2020 9:00 am

We cannot bear more drive-through or take-out or near-fatal snack. I am convinced of the boredom of my female ancestors,…

More drug than nutrient: KFC drive-through reviewed

20 June 2020 9:00 am

Drive-through restaurants were invented so Americans could spend more time in their cars. I don’t blame them. American cars are…

Repulsive, depraved and oddly political: Monster Munch crisps reviewed

6 June 2020 9:00 am

Now that I have considered Monster Munch I decide to eat one mindfully. I put it in my mouth, and…

The horror of socially distanced restaurants

23 May 2020 9:00 am

What does a critic do when her genre collapses? Mostly I panic. I speak to restaurateurs who believe that without…

Hope in a takeaway bag: Mackerel Sky reviewed

9 May 2020 9:00 am

You don’t dine in the age of pandemic: you scuttle about in the wreckage. If you can afford food, and…

Fare game: life as The Spectator’s restaurant critic

24 April 2020 11:00 pm

A fictional Spectator restaurant critic called Forbes McAllister appeared on Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge. He was played…

Much of it is pointless, but that only adds to its charm: Fortnum & Mason hampers reviewed

11 April 2020 9:00 am

Stop the clocks: Fortnum & Mason is still delivering hampers. I am not surprised, because this shop — or rather…

Dining in the time of pandemic: takeaways reviewed

28 March 2020 9:00 am

I love eating while watching bad films like Battleship, so I love takeaway food from local restaurants. I am not…

A tax on intellectuals: Terrace Cafe at the British Library reviewed

14 March 2020 9:00 am

The British Library is the national library of the United Kingdom, and it sits like a red-brick crab on the…

I have always liked angry food: Ugly Butterfly reviewed

29 February 2020 9:00 am

Ugly Butterfly is a zero-waste restaurant and champagne bar on the King’s Road, Chelsea. The ‘champagne bar’ addition is so…

Criminally good food: The Yard at Great Scotland Yard reviewed

15 February 2020 9:00 am

The Yard is a defiantly themed restaurant in Hyatt’s new Great Scotland Yard Hotel, an Edwardian red-brick block which once…

The food is almost too superb: Wild Honey reviewed

1 February 2020 9:00 am

Wild Honey is a ludicrous name for this restaurant: there is nothing wild about it, and I do not think…

Fairy food for fairy wives: Julie’s Restaurant reviewed

18 January 2020 9:00 am

Julie’s is a 50-year-old restaurant in Holland Park, London, newly emerged from three years of closure as plushly renovated as…

This food needs a little less grandeur, and a little more love: Simpson’s in the Strand reviewed

21 December 2019 9:00 am

Simpson’s in the Strand stopped serving breakfast in 2017, after it had been renovated to stop it smelling of cabbage.…

Sumptuous, remote – and forgettable: Locket’s reviewed

14 December 2019 9:00 am

Locket’s is a new café from the owners of Wiltons in Jermyn Street. Wiltons is the restaurant that dukes visit…

Nauseating, but I like the garlic bread: Legoland Windsor reviewed

30 November 2019 9:00 am

The theme music to Legoland in Berkshire is the theme music to The Exorcist. It appears from speakers hidden in…

Back in the Babington Triangle: Roth Bar & Grill reviewed

16 November 2019 9:00 am

The Roth Bar & Grill exists on an art-farm called Durslade in Bruton, Somerset, which is also the country outpost…

Stringfellows for the sex robot age: Bob Bob Cité reviewed

2 November 2019 9:00 am

Bob Bob Cité is a restaurant dangling like testicles from the underside of the Leadenhall Building in the City of…

An enemy of the people? Or an above-average sandwich chain? Pret A Manger reviewed

19 October 2019 9:00 am

The sandwich restaurant Pret A Manger is accused of harbouring centrists. Those are words I never thought I would type,…

I’ve had my fill of brasseries: Moncks reviewed

5 October 2019 9:00 am

If you review restaurants professionally you would not think Britain wanted to leave the EU. You would think she wanted…

It’s so easy to go mad in Oxford: Chiang Mai Kitchen reviewed

21 September 2019 9:00 am

Oxford is a pile of medieval buildings filled with maniacs, and is therefore one of the most interesting places on…

I wouldn’t suggest you eat here, but I doubt there’s a better place to drop acid: Camelot Castle reviewed

7 September 2019 9:00 am

The Camelot Castle Hotel is a pebble-dashed late-Victorian excrescence on a cliff. It overlooks the ruins of Tintagel Castle. A…

Like Twitter, but with food: Market Hall Victoria reviewed

24 August 2019 9:00 am

The Market Hall Victoria is an international food shed opposite the station terminus. I have long hated Victoria, thinking it…

Lunch on Leonard Cohen Island: The Pirate Bar reviewed

10 August 2019 9:00 am

The Pirate Bar is an oddity, even for this column: a bar and restaurant themed in homage to a pirate,…

A hotel dressed like the Queen Mother: Siren at the Goring reviewed

27 July 2019 9:00 am

The Goring is a tiny grand hotel near Victoria Station and the Queen’s garden wall. Victoria is not pleasant —…