Notes on…
Hitchhiking
When I first saw Vitaly I thought he was drunk. I was standing outside a petrol station near Fulda, in…
Violets
The English Rock Garden, the magnum opus of the great gardening writer, horticulturist and plant collector Reginald Farrer, is an…
The Wolseley
I was sitting alone at a small table in the Wolseley, Piccadilly, waiting for my supper and feeling a sense…
Crisp sandwiches
A crisp sandwich is a private and personal endeavour. In my experience (and I have considerable experience in this particular…
Mother’s Day
As ever, the Romans got there first. Their version of Mothering Sunday or Mother’s Day was the feast of Juno…
Slugs and snails
Slugs and snails are the bane of every gardener who tries to grow strawberries, leafy and tuberous vegetables, flowering bulbs…
Convertibles
The earliest cars were technically convertibles because the technology to fit a roof did not exist. Now the dedicated retractable…
Hedgehogs
No wild animal is closer to the hearts of the British than the hedgehog. In poll after poll, it has…
Dachshunds
Short of leg but big on personality, the eccentrically shaped dachshund is one of Britain’s most beloved pets. Originally known…
Whistling
There was, at least until recently, an old sign round the back of the Savoy banning whistling by staff or…
Carp
All anglers are obsessive, but carp fishers are the most single-minded of all. They think nothing of spending weeks on…
Daffodils
Spring is the season of supermarket daffodils. At a pound a bunch, you can deck out your home like Elton…
Fur
We in Britain have long been much more squeamish about fur than other Europeans. I still well remember the snide…
Chicken soup
Catherine Chicken is sickly. She has swollen up like a barrage balloon with an evil face and dinosaur feet. She…
Marmalade
The spectrum of ‘bestowing homemade gifts on one’s friends’ ranges from giving to foisting. Pure giving is when you make…
Gold
After taking James Bond hostage, Auric Goldfinger does what all Bond villains do when in a position of power —…
Christmas trees
The closest thing we have to a native Christmas tree is the often broccoli-shaped Scots pine (Pinus sylvestris). But the…
Mistletoe
Give us a snog. Pucker up at the Christmas party. Kiss me quick at the Nativity play. Will you be…
Baileys
For many, the first Baileys of the year heralds the start of the festive season; to others, it’s a drink…
Christmas elves
I was 19 when I became a Hamleys elf. The closest thing I can compare it to is military service.…
Mullets
The mullet is back in fashion, which is proof that true evil never dies. What’s more, the trend is being…
Tiramisu
You can get drunk on tiramisu. I have done it. It takes two portions at least. You drink (I mean…
Bagpipes
Many people love to hate bagpipes. Everyone from William Shakespeare to Alfred Hitchcock has held them in contempt. For some,…
Halloween turnips
You see them everywhere in vast orange mounds: pumpkins, piles of pumpkins, large enough to be turned into a coach…
Sloes
The gin craze of recent years has reached a scale that would have horrified Hogarth. You can now buy strawberry,…
