Notes on…
There’s no excuse for a plastic plant
Monstera deliciosa, otherwise known as the Swiss cheese plant, is perhaps the most popular houseplant of them all, probably because…
Are you a party bore?
Some years ago, I managed to get an invitation to a very exclusive party. One of the guests was Prince…
The ruinous addictiveness of Panini stickers
You could attempt to interest your kids in the World Cup by introducing them to Panini stickers. Or you may…
Should politicians have tans?
The cult economist Adam Tooze generally discusses matters far beyond my understanding on his podcast Ones and Tooze. While roasting…
The ADHD-ification of squishy toys
‘Feeling a bit stressed or anxious? Want to practise more mindfulness? Looking for good vibes and your best mellow and…
Is the Princess of Wales watermaxxing?
It’s no secret that the royals struggle with relatability. But every so often, they stumble upon a PR masterstroke, almost…
The glorious silliness of tribute band names
Seeing a tribute band can be a strange experience. There are your heroes on stage once more, magically rejuvenated and…
My love for black and white birds
All my life I have been obsessed by black and white birds. Magpies are my tormentors, my morning omens of…
Tequila slammers all round!
‘Tequila, it makes me happy,/ Con Tequila it feels fine’ goes the student anthem by Terrorvision. It is midnight, somewhere…
Why budgerigars are the perfect pets
Geoff Capes, two-time winner of The World’s Strongest Man competition, weighing in at 27 stone, was a budgie fancier. He…
Forties’ love: tennis serves me a perfect midlife crisis
There comes a time when every man must choose how to tackle an impending midlife crisis. A Maserati? A marathon?…
Make the fez great again
Ireturned from a recent holiday to Morocco with three mementos: a bright red pair of swimming trunks (teenager-sized; the largest…
Who cares if fridge magnets are naff?
Let’s dispense with the obvious question first. Are they common? While there’s a clear temptation to consult Nicky Haslam on…
In defence of celebrity rosé
Alan Watkins, the late parliamentary sketch writer, told a story about his time on the Sunday Express in the 1960s.…
The joy of liquorice
‘I’ll swap you two of my rolls for three of your spogs.’ That was the sort of thing you’d hear…
Americans will never understand Marmite
‘I fucking hate Marmite,’ said Andy McLeod, a young ad man who at some point in the mid-1990s was tasked…
A journey to the dark side of the Moon
The climax of the Artemis II mission lasted just a few hours. The capsule, named Integrity, rounded the Moon, the…
Who would ever run a marathon?
Like many good ideas, the London marathon was conceived over a drink in a pub. Inspired by their experience running…
Potatoes are one of life’s great simple pleasures
My wife found the list in the back pocket of my gardening trousers. That ought to have been a clue,…
The dying art of the kimono
‘The road was frozen… Komako hitched up the skirt of her kimono and tucked it into her obi [broad sash].…
My phobia is not to be sneezed at
In January 1894, an assistant of Thomas Edison made a five-second silent film of Fred Ott taking snuff and then…
Could your 50p coin be worth much more?
‘I have not found anybody yet who has a good word to say for the new coin,’ Sir Douglas Glover…
‘It was making me think like a Latin American dictator’: why my moustache had to go
Iloved my moustache. Unfortunately, my fondness for it seemed inversely proportionate to its popularity among my peers. After much unsolicited…
Europeans love offal – why don’t we?
The British used to love offal but now we tend to be a bit wimpy about it, unlike the French…
The horror of the male wig
Horrible injuries are commonplace in boxing but none, surely, has been quite so devastating as that sustained by the heavyweight…
