Cartoon

Basements

15 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Oh my God! You seem to know everything about me.’

Facebook

15 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Me and Terry always dreamt of buying our own little pub and festooning it with flat-screen TVs…’

Pub

15 March 2014 9:00 am

‘These acceptance speeches go on far too long.’

Crufts

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘...it’s just that some away games can be so time-consuming.’

Away

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘You have abandonment issues.’

Issues

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘These dice are loaded.’

Loaded

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Just

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Sport

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I wouldn’t go in there if I were you — Mum and Dad are doing that thing we’re not allowed to look at on the internet.’

Thing

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Dot

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m in for Monet laundering.’

Monet

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Hey, this vintage coat has still got a vintage person inside it.’

Vintage

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Phone

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I never realised a pet peeve was an actual animal.’

Peeve

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘The cull’s been a disaster.’

Badgers

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Reception

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘My phone’s been fracked.’

Frack

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Was it something he said?’

Ventriloquist

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Kafka

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Mermaids

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s a Ukrainian doll — it breaks up into increasingly small, angry factions.’

Ukranian

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s a robbery, sarge, but be careful, they’re armed.’

Venus

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Hospital

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Bloody Impressionist paparazzi.’

Paparazzi

1 March 2014 9:00 am